New perspective (#1)

Chapter 20

Brendon's POV
My foot was in so much pain. It was like it was being crushed every three seconds. I tried to not think about it all too much though, I didn't want to worry Ryan. Not that he'd be that worried. Christ, he's Ryan Ross! He feels hatred towards everyone.

I was clinging onto his back like my life depended on it when we were on our way back to my dorm. Every step he took was heavy and I assume it was because he's got a human being resting on his back like a backpack.

"My spine." Ryan groaned quietly.

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard him correctly.

"Could you... move a little? Your ribs are pressing against my spine and it feels like I'm being stabbed with a knife." Ryan explained in detail.

"Woah, thank you for that well told story." I chuckled and leaned backwards so that there'd be some space between my front and his back.

The rest of the short ride was accomplished in silence. An awkward silence. I wanted to break it but I didn't know how. Ryan's body tensed up more and more underneath me which made me uncomfortable. I wanted to get off, but if I told him that things would get even more awkward. Plus, I can't walk by myself, what I know of. I need him.

When we got to my dorm he didn't even bother to enter it with me, instead he just let go of my legs, motioning for me to get off. I tried to catch his eyes but it was difficult considering he'd flinch all the time. We just stood there. I had no idea what made things so tense between us.

"Right." Ryan said and looked down at his hands bothered before rushing to his own dorm. I frowned at him and watched him until I could no longer see nor hear him. The hallway was surrounded by silence, you couldn't even hear the loud music coming from the small party two feet away. They must've stopped and gone to sleep early or something. It was now dark everywhere. No light could be seen.

Suddenly a wave of tiredness washed over me and I yawned, raising my hand to collide with my lips by reflex. I climbed onto the wooden plank by the window and crossed my legs. It wasn't broad, but broad enough for me to fit on it. I looked out the window and tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness.

I saw bright circles covering the night sky, shining and glimmering like everything was perfect. Yet it was the biggest circle creating the most light and making it possible for me to see the figures of the trees ahead of me.

I felt my body and mind slowly sobering up.

I sat there peacefully and I no longer felt confusion, frustration, anger, sadness or even happiness. I felt empty.

What's the point of life?

What's the definition of perfection?

If those stars could have nothing yet shine brigher than any human being, why couldn't we shine even if we had everything?

"Makeup is fucking great for a guy," Pete said and stumbled out of our dorm with a slightly shorter male following him like a lost puppy.

They didn't see me, it was like I was invisible. I don't think anyone actually saw me. Maybe the physical form of me, but not the inside. Now they didn't even see my exhausted eyes staring out the window.

"because it makes a guy look beautiful." He continued and grabbed the other guy's hand, who I now saw to be Patrick. Patrick hummed tiredly, probably already having the hangover creeping behind his shoulders. They made their way to Patrick's dorm, Which also happened to be Ryan's. Pete was still rambling nonsense.

I sighed at the thought of Ryan. I didn't get what made him act so weird all of a sudden. I really needed to talk to him right now.

He's the only one who truly understands me, and perhaps the only one who truly sees me?

If I lost Ryan I'd lose the only point of staying here. Believe it or not, but he is my friend. A friend I like more than I should. I'd finally admitted it to myself. I don't think I like him, I know I like him.

I fucking like Ryan Ross!

There it is.

So if he was gonna bail on me now it'd suck. A lot. It'd hurt more than my foot. I could only blame myself though. If he didn't want to stay that's my fault. I'm not good enough. I should've been a better human being, a better friend. I cursed under my breath at my own stupidity and roughly banged the back of my head against the wall. The loud noise echoed through the hallway. I was surprised no teacher was patrulling tonight.

I cringed. Miss Jackson literally stays up all night making sure no student is up. When does she even sleep?! She's pathetic. The second last thing I want is ending up like her.

The very last thing I want is losing Ryan.

But I'm probably just overthinking. It was just an awkward moment, not the end of the world! All people have such moments every now and again. It doesn't mean he's gonna stop spending time with me. I'm the pathetic one. But what if he actually is leaving?

Only time will tell.

-

I'm cravin- oh my god. I'm not craving anything tonight. LET'S CELEBRATE!

*turns on Time to dance*

*dances*

10 seconds later

I'm fUcKinG dYiNg I cAn'T brEaThE I'm sO exHaUsTEd
let's just go to sleep aight?

Hi Tuva :D

Hi Molly :D