New perspective (#1)

Chapter 46

Brendon's POV
I'm doing this for Ryan.

What if he doesn't want to see me?

Well, if he doesn't want to see me, then at least I got away from this shit hole my parents call home. So now I'm transferring from one shit hole to another.

It's 1am and everyone is asleep. I'm trying to fall asleep as well, but I can't get him out of my mind. He's become my mind.

So I'm laying here, staring somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. My eyes can't seem to focus on anything. Mainly because my room is dark although the street lights manage to create visible shadows through the window. The shadows wouldn't exist without any light and the light wouldn't exist without any dark. It's like the ying- yang symbol.

But where is the light in my dark? He's not here. But I need him to be here.

I wonder what he's thinking about. I wonder if he's thinking about me. Because I sure as hell am thinking about him. And not just now, but always.

Eventually my eyes land on the ceiling and don't move. My mind creates two figures on the blank space, two people. They're happy. They're holding hands. The taller one kisses the shorter ones forehead and they laugh. Their eyes meet and suddenly the outside world has no meaning anymore. All that matters is them and nothing else. It's their world. Them against the world. It's incredible how something as beautiful can exist in such an ugly world. Yet it can easily become just as ugly.

Ryan.

God, I can't just lay here. I have to do something now. I need to get out of this place.

I got out of bed immediately, my feet making a loud thud once they hit the floor. I'm still wearing Ryan's Green day shirt. I'm not taking it off until I get to see his face again.

I tiptoed to my backpack which was on the floor right next to my bedroom door. If I woke my parents up I'd get so much shit for it. I need to be quiet and careful. I packed all my money, some clothes just laying around in my wardrobe and then I went to my bathroom. Yeah, I had my own bathroom.

I picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste because come on, I need to keep myself clean. Then I put on my black skinny jeans and went back into my room. My backpack was on my back and I figured I didn't really need anything else- for now.

Unfortunately I had to leave my phone behind. But whatever, if Ryan couldn't text then what's the point of a phone? Music? Maybe. But I've got my iPod. They can't trace an iPod. I've got all my emo shit downloaded so I'm ready.

I put my hand to my chest to feel my rapid heartbeat. I shut my eyes slowly and inhaled deeply. The image of Ryan was plastered behind my eyelids and fuck, he's gorgeous. His smile. His eyes. His hair. His smile again. I need to remember that I'm doing this for him. Everything's going to be okay. I can do this. I'll fix this.

A small smile tugged on my lips as I thought about how we snuck out in the middle of the night to go into town. His laughter. The way we danced. The way I held him in my arms.

His walmart story... I couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh at that one.

So I gathered myself, gently turned the doorknob and took a first step out. I looked back and saw the window, a few stars and the moon. It was all so far away yet burned so bright that you could see it from miles and miles away. And they were so far apart, yet looked so close.

From distance, anything can fool you.

I went downstairs as quietly as I could. The stairs thankfully barely creaked and once I got downstairs I bent to put on my shoes. I tied the laces as quickly as I could as I wondered how the fuck I was gonna get to Ryan. Bus? Train? Lift? Were there even any buses or trains going at this time of the night?

I stood up and that's when I realised how much my back was aching. Must've been because of how much I bent. My body isn't used to it, I guess.

I held my breath as I opened the front door and stepped outside. I closed it and sighed in relief at my sight- the streets were empty. Gossip is such a popular thing here so if anyone saw me, well, let's just say that I'd be in huge trouble. I suppose I already am though since my parents will eventually realise that I ran away.

I took a deep breath and a small smile tugged at my lips.

Freedom at last.

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Shoutout to my wifey misadventuredmadness :3