Away from the past

The move

January 13, 2018

"Some time has passed since the school year started, but if we're gonna go, it has to be now." Mom always does what's best for me, even when I don't think it's the right time.

Today we are moving out of San Clemente, California and are headed to Coronado, California. We have so many reason for us moving and none of them are good.

The biggest reason is because of me. Liana Kaden, only child, etc.

Here in San Clemente, I went to a private school and it was truly the worst. Freshman year is when it all went south and upside down. Now, in senior year, this is where I'm deciding to make a much needed change. Boys here really don't know how and when to grow up. Not saying that all of the guys are like this but a good chunk of them are.

I am absolutely ashamed and embarrassed to say that this place changed me into someone I never want to be again. Silverleaf prep will forever leave it's mark on me and I just want to get as far away as I can.

Our new place is a little over two hours away and no one knows we're moving. I didn't tell any of my "friends" or teachers. The guy who I broke up, with who also acts like he doesn't know what that term means doesn't know either. I am leaving without a trace and I can't wait.

Dad already has a new job in Coronado and mom will start looking as soon as we completely move there. I was apprehensive about moving so abruptly but my family and I have been battling with this decision for months and it's now or never at this point. I will be attending a public school in Coronado, not knowing anyone.

I changed my number and even got a new phone. It sounds like I'm running from the government but when I say I starting over, I mean it. All my social medias have been deleted and having anyone from here contacting me is nearly impossible.

I was in a three year relationship with Theo Elton, the person who is number one on my forget list. He's like a chameleon, he changes in every new place he's in. That is exactly how I got sucked in Freshman year.

In the beginning, he was sweet. Three weeks later, the control freak came out, then the asshole. Theo always told me that I was too nice and I needed to be like him. Sadly that happened for a short period of time. I became someone who thought they were untouchable, who never really did things for the good of other people.

The final straw was when Theo got really aggressive with me. My dad made it very clear that Theo is no longer apart of my life. I had my moments where I would complain to mom about my boyfriend, the school, and the people around me. I know she told dad and eventually it became the conversation of the house.

We sent the moving truck on it's way and we leave right behind it. Mom did the last walk through to make sure we had everything and after that, my life in San Clemente was history.

-

January 14th

We slept on our mattresses on the floor but today dad is putting all of our furniture together. I start school in a couple of days and mom is taking me to get some new supplies. That means dad will have plenty of quiet time to focus.

For this new school, I plan to lay low. It'll be nice to not have anyone know who I am. Before I left Silverleaf, I did manage to apologize to the people who I hurt the most. I did it two weeks before I left so no one really suspected anything. Here, I am my old self again.

Mom and I pick up the usual notebooks, folders, and other supplies like that. The store is pretty quiet even though there is quite a bit of people in here. Everyone keeps to themselves which is what I like the most. We drive past the school on the way back and it's really nice. The football field is huge and around it is a track field. Silverleaf was pretty nice too but it wasn't as big as my new school.

I don't know what people are like here but I know if it's anything like where I came from, I'm stuck for now. The girls at Silverleaf were all the same and just as fake as the boys. They were all mean, jealous and insecure. I often found myself being fake around them, not enjoying any time I've spent with them. Theo knew every girl I was friends with and when he couldn't get in touch with me, he would call every single one of them until he knew where I was.

When we get back home, my bed is put together and dad has started working on the master bedroom. Although I'm spending all day working on my room, putting things away, I stop every once in a while to get on my phone. I don't have my personal Instagram anymore but I've always had a fan page that I've never told anyone about. I haven't even been on it in years but here I am now, on a four year old fan page, trying to distract myself from what is actually happening.

I sit crossed legged on my room that's filled with boxes thinking about my new life in Coronado.