Away from the past

Be mine

February 13

Day two and things are pretty much the same as yesterday. I have noticed I walk a tad slower than I used to but no one sucks their teeth when they maneuver around me. Zachary Shelton makes comments about a group of Freshman walking together. The principal sometimes suggested that us Seniors do more to help out the underclassmen, mainly freshman. Seniors are either always complaining about how freshman need to grow up and freshman complain that seniors are full of themselves. Being a Senior, I don't mind helping anyone, that's one of the things I'm absolutely okay with doing.

Most freshman kids whisper about me, talking about what happened. The thing is, I want them to talk about it. Everyone knows that the person who hurt me is an ex. I want them to talk and know that abusive relationships are real and even if the relationship is done, anything can happen. I'm a prime example of that, sadly.

I've made two new freshman friends right before I took time off from school to heal. Emily and Lacey are in one of my elective classes. Emily is super sweet and obsessed with the online world. She plays all types of video games and she even does coding. Lacey is the complete opposite of Emily and it honestly concerns me. Lacey gets tired of Emily talking about her virtual world sometimes.

I don't usually get into people's business but of course I will if it gets worse. Emily is super happy lately because of something called comic con. Apparently, she goes every year and she's even more pumped about it. I feel her leaning towards asking me to go but that's a hard no right now, not from me though. My mom wouldn't allow it, she hates that I even have to walk through the halls.

February 14

"Edwin and I have been talking for a while, do you think he got me something today?" Ellia is obsessing over a boy.

Valentines day is so cheesy to me. Mom got me a huge teddy bear and chocolates this morning. She usually doesn't go all out but the bear doubles as a soft thing to sit on and she thinks it will help with my pain. Jesse holds my books and my book bag whenever I'm near him in the halls. I don't question it because it feels good not to hold anything right now.

Theo would brag about how special he would make me feel on Valentines day but in reality, he made me feel like crap just like he did every other day of the year. All of his friends who were in relationships would brag about how their girls would do anything for them and how their girls need them so much. They were truly disgusting but at least they didn't say it to their faces like my boyfriend did.

"Be careful with him Elly. He's just like every other horn dog in this school, they only want one thing. Edwin cares only about himself and his money." Jesse clearly hates Edwin.

"We've been hanging out for some time and he has been nothing but sweet and gentle with me but I will be careful big bro." They aren't actually related but they treat each other like brother and sister.

It's refreshing to see a boy and a girl have a strong relationship that's not a dating relationship. Guys and girls can be just friends, it is possible. It wasn't for me a couple years back but that's over now.

Flowers and chocolates are everywhere. Some kid carrying a ton of Valentines gifts bumped into me in the halls. They freaked out even more than I did and I wasn't really all that dramatic.

"I am so stupid! Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I can take you to the nurse if you'd like!" This kid would not stop babbling.

My arm did hurt a little but nothing major.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I'm fine."

"I can't believe I did that. Don't hate me, I'm so sor-" I cut them off simply don't want to hear another apology.

"I'm okay, just get to class. You're gonna be late." I try not to let my aggravation show.

A few years ago I just stopped caring about how I acted. Me being so unhappy made it easier to not to care how I treated people.

Today seemed to be even longer but coming back is also a process I'll have to get use to. I definitely feel like a zoo animal in a cage but I have noticed people are sticking by me and talking about domestic abuse even more.