d.d - angst

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Warnings: swearing, and sad david :(

(Normally it's always the girl who falls for the guy, so I wanted to switch it up a bit.)

David and I had been messing around for about five months now. But he acted more like a boyfriend than a fuck buddy, and I was starting to think that maybe he wanted it to go somewhere else.

We were good friends before this, well, thing between us started happening. So naturally, even when we were screwing he'd still come over just to hang out. But lately he had been taking me to dinner a lot and spoiling me with gifts.

And he was sweet, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't someone who wanted to commit to something. We both had made that clear the moment we decided to become, what I suppose you could call, friends with benefits.

I knew I couldn't just avoid the subject forever, so I figured I'd just ask David to come over and hang out for a bit.

me: hey, stop by my place later? I'm bored

big dick energy: sure babe, i'll be there soon

That was easier than I expected it to be. Then again, I'm sure why I thought it would be difficult. I decided I should at least make myself look presentable. I didn't want to look like a bum while possibly breaking someone's heart.

I tossed my hair up in a ponytail, swiped on some mascara, and changed out of my sweats into a pair of shorts. I put on David's merch, too. Maybe I wouldn't feel as guilty if I ended up hurting him.

big dick energy: i'm outside, let me in

I made my way to my door, unlocking it and ushering David inside.

"Hey Y/N. So are we hanging out or hanging out?" I laughed, David was always being a horny little shit.

"We're just hanging out. For now, at least." I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, though.

"Damn, ok." He chuckled, throwing himself onto my sofa and grabbing the remote.

"Oh yeah, make yourself at home dude." I walked past him, lightly slapping his cheek as I went by.

We watched t.v for awhile, just joking and making fun of each other, but eventually there was a moment of silence and I couldn't hold it in.

"Are you into me, in like, a girlfriend type way?" I just blurted it out, not knowing how else to phrase it at the moment. I knew I'd look back on it later and realize how dumb I sounded.

"W-what?" It was obvious I caught him off guard, a question like that would probably do that to most people.

"You just seem like you want a relationship with me. I'm asking because I want to make sure I'm not misreading this whole situation." I was always really good at being forward, if it wasn't obvious.

David stared at me for a good minute or so and I could almost see the gears turning in his head. Finally, he let out a sigh before he met my eyes. And nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do want a relationship with you. I know we said at the beginning of this that it wasn't anything more than fucking but I fell in love with you. I couldn't help it." Holy shit I'm going to kill myself. Oh god, oh no. Crap.

"David, we also said that if we started to develop feelings we would stop. Why didn't you tell me? If you're in love with me then how long have you had feelings for me?" There were so many thoughts running through my head and I couldn't process them all at once.

"I know, we did say that. I've had feelings for you for about two months now. But I just, I knew if I told you we would go back to how we used to be. I didn't want to have to sit on the sidelines as you messed around with other guys that weren't me." He sat up straighter, his eyes basically drilling a hole into my fucking head.

"David, no. I- I don't want a relationship. I like just being able to do whatever I want when I want. I can't- I can't be what you want me to be." It was obvious that the moment I said no he would try to fight me on this. David was many things, and one of those things was stubborn.

"Just try it. Give me one week to prove to you that you want a relationship with me, Y/N. Please." I felt bad. I probably should have known from the beginning that doing this with David of all people wouldn't work out. But I went along with it anyways, despite knowing I'd likely end up hurting him.

"David, from the day we started this, I knew I would hurt you eventually. But you promised me so many times that it would be strictly platonic and there'd be no strings attached. What you want is something I don't want to give. I'm sorry." I really should have figured that I'd end up losing him as a friend if we became fuck buddies.

"I can't believe I fell in love with someone like you. I know I said there'd be no feelings attached but you can't possibly tell me that you never felt a single emotion when you were with me. That not a single part of you wanted to be with me." His eyes were starting to water and I was feeling like an ass, but there wasn't really anything I could do at this point.

"I'm really sorry. I never felt attracted to you in a relationship way. It was just physical. It was always just physical." I could tell he was about to back down. He was tired, it was obvious.

"So, none of it was real? Ever?" At this point all I could do was shake my head and watch him walk out the door.

I was heartbroken a little, because I lost a really good friend. David was never going to mean to me what I meant to him. But I'm not the type to settle down. I like living on the edge and doing whoever I want. Being tied down isn't my thing. And as much as I loved David, it wasn't the kind of love he wanted. I wasn't going to lie to him and pretend, just to spare his feelings.

Ultimately, he knew what he was getting into, and it's not my fault that he wasn't cautious.   


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