daddy's baby // yoonmin

one

It was Sunday morning, a bright one. Jimin had woken up, his eyes puffy and red. He isn't like any normal little, waking up with a smile. He would wake up everyday with the same expression.   the expression screamed "why am I here?"

Dragging himself out of bed and into the shower, he stared into the mirror, sighing. 'what did I do to myself?' he'd ask himself. The faint red lines along his arms. it all means a sign. 

Jimin isn't normal. He's a little, but hates it. His family had disowned him after struggling financially when he was 14. His family decided it'd be better to keep the smarter one in the family and kick out the 'useless' one. jimin had no where to go. he was lost. he lived on the streets feeding off the bread that a nice lady would bring him everyday but one day, she stopped, later learning that shed died. Jimin had no choice but to do something or he'd die. 

he applied for jobs. no one wanted him, because he didn't have a background. but he didn't lose hope, he didn't want to live like this so he kept searching. he was street casted for a dance group. sure, he may not have known how to dance at that age but he never stopped trying. he eventually made it into the group and went around the world for competitions and won. soon later, they disbanded. a member of the group had gotten sick and was rushed to the hospital. long story short, he was never able to breathe properly again. jimin had to think of something s he decided to perform on streets earning a bit of money each day. 

a few years of hard work later, he opened his own dance studio, taught people of all ages. earning more than he'd ever earned, each one of his classes had an average of at least 20 students. working 4 days a week took a toll on him though. he was physically and mentally overworking himself. thats where he started feeling little and depressed. he didn't want to self diagnose himself so him and his dancing partner daeseok went to a doctor to talk about these. 

thats when his diagnosis was true, he was mildly depressed. the doctor had prescribed him antidepressants and he took them but felt like they did nothing so he threw them away. and that took a giant toll he didn't expect. he was stressed, sad, frustrated at no reason and lifeless. he called off his workshop for a month in order to regain his confidence, and to pull himself together. 

here he is now. 

after showering, jimin threw on a hoodie ad headed out of his house. this was a daily routine, something he couldn't miss. if he had, he'd be clouding unnecessary thoughts in his head. walking to the street filled with trees and nature, he sat near his tree. he has planted this tree when he was 2 with his parents, he remembers this so clearly. the smallest tree of the whole street. it was somewhat isolated, away from all the vehicles and chaos, close to a small rushing river.

he'd sit down and say his feelings aloud, hoping no one else hears. talking about his struggles and whats he's been up to or who's that cute guy he met at last weeks dance class or something like that. its like the atmosphere was his diary and once they're said, they're gone.

spending time there is always based off jimin mood, even if he had nothing to talk about, he'd spend at least 20 minutes breathing the fresh air in. speaking aloud like the air was his therapist, "why am I like this? I'm so sad all the time, why can't I be happy? its so crazy, everything happens so sudden and I'm lost. these scars are so ugly yet I still make them, these tears are so worthless yet I still shed them. why?" 

he'd sometimes think of this place as his way to talk to his only family member that cared about him. his grandma. the sweet, caring, precious, shining soul of hers. she died after jimin was kicked out and found out in the worst way he could imagined. she was sick even when jimin was still home but one day, she just, gone. jimin was at his friends brother funeral and when they went to his grave, jimin stopped when he saw a face and name so familiar.

his grandmas name and photo on a grave stone that seemed so cheap and worthless. a small bush had grown on it, topped with a few irises. irises symbolised wisdom. he was overcome with grief. falling onto his knees and bowing down to his grandmas grave. this increased his depression. 

29 minutes has passed. it was time to go. he needed to eat. walking along the streets, yellow auburn leaves fell, signs that autumn was approaching. he loved autumn, something about that warm and breezy weather made him happy. 

reaching a cafe named Whisk, the bell rung as he entered. sitting on a table for 2, he looked at the menu. rehearsing the order in his head, he raised his hand up to get the attention of a waitress. "H-hi yes can I get an a-am-americano and a blueberry m-muffin?" he managed to mutter out. "sure, would you like your sugar separated or in the drink?" oh god. "Y-yes." fuck what did I just say. "I mean s-separated." "Okay." the waitress walks off and jimin throws his head onto his palms. 

this is also another daily struggle, he has incredibly bad anxiety and social anxiety. if he's in little space, these things get worse. which is why he hates little space. he doesn't have much friends because of this and doesn't mind being alone. its only sometimes difficult when he doesn't have anyone to calm him during his anxiety attacks that he keeps very secretly about. he isn't interested in finding a caregiver anytime soon since he isn't very approachable. 

his breakfast ends with paying and walking out of the cafe and straight back into his apartment. closing the door, he lets out a breathy exhale, absolutely done interacting with the day. its been 2 and a half weeks since he's closed down the workshop temporarily and he forgets how difficult it is to interact. 

resting his body on his bed, he pulls out his phone. an email pops up. 

To: Park Jimin 

From: Kim's Cookery

Hello park jimin, we have informed all our students that this weeks class will be held slightly earlier than usual due to our chef being unavailable for the following Wednesday onwards. Classed held this week will be on Mondays and Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays and Fridays. If you have signed up for the Elite membership, classes will be held on Monday (13/8/18) 2pm-5pm and if you've signed up for a months class without a membership, classes will be held on Tuesday (14/8/18) 2pm-5pm. Thank you for your understanding and we hope you can make it. 

sincerely, 

KIM SEOKJIN, owner of Kim's Cookery.

Yes, jimin had signed up for a cooking class to learn to cook and overcome his bad anxiety, hopefully make some friends. jimin places his phone besides him and looks over to his shelf, the second shelf stacked with jimins plushies he'd bought for himself. his favourite being a puppy, wearing a yellow hoodie. he'd name it chimmy since his grandma used to call him that. 

ding dong. (A/N: we all know that one iconic meme)

'what the fuck, who's that? what did I buy? did I leave anything in the cafe? I didn't do drugs. is it the police? what if I go to jail? fuck.' jimin's thought flew around everywhere. 

taking a deep breath he went to the door and looked through the peephole. a man, around his early twenties was a the front with a suitcase. he was sucking on a lollipop and had a piece of paper in his hand. 'what the fuck who's that why is he here'

opening the door, he mustered the courage to open his mouth. "h-hi, who are you?"

"oh shit sorry, wrong house."

"w-where do y-you need to g-go?" jimin asked 'why the fuck did you ask idiot'

"Um, sorry this is 118, I'm supposed to go to 116, sorry." with that, the man turned wit his suitcase and ringed the door opposite of jimins house. the door opened while jimins one was closing but he could still hear their conversation. 

"Hoseok, who's that next door?"

"Oh, I don't even know man, I don't see him often. Why? does the lifeless yoongi finds him cute?"

"Kinda." 

The door shut. 

What?

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I'm back with another book >:)  I hated my previous books so this is something new. I swear to god I'm never writing a memberxreader again I'm sorry I just can't but heY SHIPS ARE ALSO NICE. pls vote ily bye bye