daddy's baby // yoonmin

fourteen

marks. all he was making is marks. on his arm. they were what took the pain away temporarily. he wouldn't be able to think the thoughts in his head as he scratched his arms. covering the pale skin with red lines.

he sobbed as he continued scratching. not knowing when to stop. but soon, his hands gave out. leaving the multiple marks on his arm to start scarring. he's never seen it this bad. it breaks him. why would the only person he trusted and felt comfortable had to do this?

he sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. until he was out of breath. slipping little by little into his special headspace. he moved to his room. making sure the door was locked. he tripped making him fall onto his bed, stubbing his toe on the bed stand in the process.

he lets out a wince. a painful hiss. 'please enough with the pain' he's done and tired. but he can't stop the lingering thoughts. his minds fuzzy, mouth dry. his hands are fisted. he's not stable. not at all. sometimes episodes like this lead to him passing out. sometimes for days even. but that was rare. he really was trying his best to stay focused on the real world. yet he couldn't.

he cries and cries until he falls asleep. he's exhausted.

_________

yoongi still sits on the rooftop. sky's a navy blue. small lights littered across the skies. a plane or two flying across. he's taking in as much calm time as he can but won't get the thought out of his head that poor jimin is probably breaking down. and it's all because of him.

he mentally beats himself for doing such thing. what was in him that gave in to that boy? that triggered something in him to do such thing. hurting such an innocent young boy.

it's not when a mosquito lands on his arm, he swats it away and decides it's best to go back. he passes jimins door and gives it a glance. he goes closer, pressing an ear to the door. trying to hear any sounds. fortunately, or unfortunately, there's dead silence.

he sighs before going back to his apartment. taehyung and jeongguk were still there and yoongi just waved a hello before going back to his room and pulling out his notebook.

i've broken your heart
i've broken your trust
i brought us apart
and let us turn to dust

i'm sorry for what i've done
you don't deserve this
i hope this is the only one
because our relationship, is what i miss.

yoongi doesn't notice but he already had tears rolling down his face, down his cheeks and onto his notebook. the page is covered in droplets of the salty substance. he doesn't care enough to wipe them off.

instead, he places his head on his hands, resting on the desk. he buries his face and doesn't let his emotions stop. the tears flow. 'what has this boy done to me?'

his head perks up when a knock was heard on his door. "come in." he instructs the other person at the other side of the door, hoping he was loud enough for them to hear.

the door slowly creaks open and a little jeongguk peeks his head. "hi yoongi!" he waves and steps in. although the younger hasn't known yoongi for long, he has a friendly nature, making it easy to make friends. "what'cha doing?" he takes small steps towards yoongis direction and peeks at the notebook.

yoongi immediately shuts his book. not wanting to let the younger find out. "i-it's my diary. diaries cant be shared." he responds, trying his best not to sound blank. hopefully his lie was convincing enough.

"oh, sowwy." it's obvious jeongguk is little and very curious about the world but he can also take no's quite seriously. he then sulkily walks out of the olders room.

hoseok is the next one to barge in into yoongis room and notices yoongis puffed up eyes from crying. his nose is also red and his cheeks are wet. "hyung? you good? tae and jeongguk are leaving, jeongguks acting up a little. wanna go day bye?" hoseok asks the older. making sure he doesn't make yoongi cry more. it hurts hoseok to see any of his friends cry. especially yoongi.

"y-yeah. i'm good." he responds back reassuring hoseok. but his looks aren't helping.

"hyung, you have to eat dinner. i don't think you ate the whole day."

"i said i'm good."

"hyung-."

"hoseok get out and leave me alone." yoongi instructs. usually he isn't this pissed. he's normally gentle to hoseok but with so much on his mind, he doesn't hesitate to ask for some alone time. hoseok leaves the room without a word and closes it.

yoongis frustrated. he's mad at himself. it feels like his life's tearing apart. if he could've just stopped himself, none of this would happen, he would still have jimin with him as a friend. hoseok would smile when he sees him. but now barely anything is going right. he checks the clock with his half open eyes, exhausted from the tears.

9:56 pm.

he moves onto his bed and takes his phone. going through his job application emails he applied to days or weeks ago. none of them has responded. 'is it that hard to get a music job in seoul?' apparently yes. music companies had lines and lists of people trying to audition and get into the company. so it takes time until they even respond to yoongis email.

he closed his phone and relaxes his head against the pillow. sighing and shutting his eyes.

_____________

jimin wakes up and glances at the clock. 3:29 am. he slept early last evening and so cant sleep for the rest of the day. his eyes are tired, still shut halfway. yet his mind is restless. he looks at his arms and wrist again. the marks. he's disappointed. why didn't i fucking stop myself, they're hideous.

he walks to the bathroom, turning on the light and washing his face. no way in hell was he going back to sleep. he wouldn't be able to and would waste time. he figured it be best to have his own little party. he want to be little with as much joy as possible. alone.

he goes to his living room with koya, cooky and chimmy. places them on his fur rug and brings a blanket. turning on the TV, he doesn't hesitate to look for his favourite movie, The Lion King. cuddling into the rug and wrapped in a blanket, he plays the movie.

waiting for sunrise.

waiting for someone.

_____
hellooo, sorry for slow updates, i started school today and rushed to write the first half so that's why the start is crappy. school just finished and i'm rushing to publish this chapter so i hope you enjoy 💕