empty - brallon/// DISCONTINUED

B - oh god

Today Thalia has a school play. Today I have to be around other parents. I'm really nervous.

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"One of Thalia's dads looks pregnant. Isn't one of them trans?" I hear someone whisper. I look over at the group of moms and smile shyly. I go over to them. "Yes, one of us is trans, and no, I am not pregnant." I say. "I-I...oh. Oh my. So did you carry Thalia?" One of them asks. She looks like she's in her 50's. I'm only 23. "Yes. I got pregnant with Thalia on my 18th birthday." I sigh softly. "So you're 23?" Another one gasps. I nod and look at Dallon. He was talking to another teacher. "I only said you look pregnant because you have that...you have the pregnancy glow is all...Im sorry if I offended you." The one that called me pregnant says. "It's fine I guess...I've been doing hormone therapy for a while. I doubt I'm pregnant. But it's always a possibility!" I laugh softly and shrug. Dallon comes over and smiles. "Hi Mr. Weekes." One of the mom's who smells of wine says while batting her eyelashes. This must be the group of moms like try to get with Dallon. Dallon stands behind me and rubs my shoulder. "Hello Mrs. Nelson. You've met my husband I assume?" Dallon smiles. His smile is so gorgeous. "Oh...your husband? What a shame." That makes me lose confidence in myself. "Yeah. He's my husband. I love him a lot. Sorry about that Sharon." Dallon says, walking us away. He sits us down and rubs my thigh. "Is everything alright?" he asks softly. I shrug and shake my head. "They said I look pregnant. And then they made fun of you for being gay.." I whisper to Dallon. Dallon frowns and hugs me. "Baby...I love you, ok? And I doubt you're pregnant. You've been on T since after you had Thalia. But even if you are it's ok. We're married and we're a lot more mature than we were with Thalia right?" Dallon smiles. I nod. "I don't think I want another baby Dallon...I'll be happy if we're pregnant just...we can't afford it..." I say softly. I'm not opposed to having another baby, it just isn't ideal. "We'll talk about later, ok?" Dallon smiles. I nod and hold his hand.

—————

I'm at the drugstore. Dallon and Thalia are at school. After the woman suggested I was pregnant I began to feel anxious. My hand is hovering above a box of pregnancy tests. This is stupid. I haven't had to use one of these in five years. I don't even need to be using these. I'm not pregnant.

I'm driving home. The pregnancy tests are digging in the passenger's seat of Dallon and I's minivan. We have a minivan and only one kid. I said it was a waste of money but Dallon insisted that we'd need it eventually.

I walk into our apartment and lock both locks. I go to the bathroom and lock myself in there too. I shakily open the pregnancy tests. I'm not going to tell Dal if I'm pregnant. I'll hide the tests and the positive test in my old clothes. Dallon doesn't even know where that box is. I stare at myself in the mirror and touch my cheeks softly. I did kind of have a more feminine face than usual. I lift my shirt and turn to the side. "Odd.." I whisper to myself and touch my stomach. Ok. Whatever. Let's just get this over with. Rip it off like bandaid.

—————

I'm in my closet. I open the lid to an old box full of dresses and crop tops and stuff. I wipe the tears off of my cheeks and tuck the two unopened tests underneath a t shirt. I hold the positive tests close to my chest. I quickly put it in the pocket of some joggers and shut the lid of the box. I put it back where it was hidden and sit on the bed. I place a hand on my stomach. "It's just me and you little one." I whisper softly. I had stopped crying at this point. Im happy. This is a good thing. I just need to find the courage to eventually tell Dallon.