Still Dawn: The Saga Continues

chapter 43, my girl (jpov)

[Hey Guys!! Sorry its taken me longer than usual to update!! I originally planned to write this from Nessie's POV but ended up crying too much writing it so had to start again!!

I Hope its OK! Please Keep Voting!!  

Susan xx ]

CHAPTER 43: MY GIRL (Jacob's POV)

"Aren't you gorgeous" Nessie cooed. I was watching as she fussed over the baby and smiled to myself. Other than Esme who was out in the garden we were home alone with him, Carlisle was at work and the other's had all gone hunting. Rosalie hadn't wanted to leave the baby but, as everyone pointed out to her, she needed to hunt. As I watched Ness with the baby I allowed my mind to wander over the possibilitie's lying ahead.

I had alway's assumed me and Ness would never be able to have children, I'd accepted it and it wasn't something I had ever really thought about in great detail. But now, with her starting to have period's we were all left wondering if she would be able to have a baby. I'd always wanted a family, but I'd never thought it possible before. I looked across at my beautiful girlfriend as she cared for her cousin, and I realised just how great a mom she would be. It frightened me.

 I would never be strong enough to take that risk with her, I could never do something that could potentially harm her. We have no idea what effect pregnancy would have on Nessie, it could kill her. I flinched visibly at the thought,  

"Are you alright babe?" Ness asked  

"Fine" I smiled weakly, returning to my thought's. I was glad Edward wasn't home, he'd kill me even for thinking his way, and I really didn't want to ruin the progress we had made with our friendship, if you could even call it that. Thing's had settled between us over the year's, but I got the feeling that despite his civil words he still despised me.

 The worst part was I didn't even blame him, I did imprint on his daughter, and kiss his wife. Before they were married of course, but still, I think that gives him enough ammunition to hate me. I carried on staring at Nessie, letting my thought's about children and our future run away with me. It would really be great to have a family. No! I ordered myself silently, I couldn't allow that. I could never endanger her that way. Could I? Why was I even thinking like this? Was I going mad? Of course I couldn't, I could never hurt my Ness. Never.

A few more minute's passed and Henry drifted off peacefully in Nessie's arms. She sat staring at him adoringly for a few minute's, then I noticed a lone tear slide down her cheek,  

"Ness?" I asked, reaching over to stroke her arm "what's wrong?"  

"Nothing" she coughed, wiping the tear away  

"You don't cry over nothing" I told her  

"I'm just thinking..." she sighed, she looked as if she was bout to say something but stopped herself.  

"About?" I asked  

"Everything" she sighed, gently reaching down to stroke Henry's face with the back of her index finger. I watched as his eyelid's fluttered open momentarily before closing once again.  

"You're gonna have to give me more than that" I shrugged "what's bothering you"  

"Everything's just been so hectic lately" she explained "I haven't had a chance to really think about... stuff" she sighed heavily. Was she having the same thought's I was? She couldn't seriously be thinking about that could she?  

"Yeah" I agreed, looking at her "It has been hectic" the last 2 week's since Em and Rose came home had been non stop, if Henry didn't need attention then Alice was bickering with Edward, she still hadn't forgiven him for driving them away in the first place. "But we're alone now" I smiled taking her hand "you can tell me anything, you know that"