Falling | Olajide Olatunji/KSI

"i wish you weren't my sister" | 5

Small warning, this chapter focuses on sad things and i wouldn't read if this could bring up bad memories. Otherwise enjoy this chapter, and dive into the deep end of emotions. These chapters aren't really edited either, so excuse my grammar x

My fingers tapped lightly against the counter as my body fell rigid, i noticed my social life had got better but it certainly needed improvement. Simon and his friends had been a blessing in disguise, Simon had helped regain some confidence and happiness in my mental state, but on the other hand I wasn't getting better.

I wasn't quite prepared for today, it'd been four days since I'd last seen Simon and his friends, I was still meaning to get Vik's number but hadn't got the chance. I thought to expand my social life bit by bit by quizzing my younger sister if we could meet up in central London, my heart was racing and my hand was trembling so I resorted to tapping to still myself.

My sister and I never had the greatest bond, it was unbelievably strained and we haven't talked since I moved out, it was like I disappeared without a trace, but they didn't bother to text me that much either. Before I left, I vaguely remember her getting involved with the wrong crowd, and more than anything I hoped she changed during the time frame of me being gone.

'Hey :)'

The notification pinged through, alerting me and snapping me out of my daze, I looked at the contact name and realised it was Simon, I was still nervous, but Simon texting me had distracted me ever so slightly.

'Hiya, how are things?' I responded casually, my thumbs felt weak as I didn't know what else to say, Simon seemed like a popular person so I wouldn't be lying if I said he intimidated me.

'Good good, just checking up on you, Vik has been talking about you every now and then, so I was wondering if you'd come round soon?'

I pondered the possibilities of going and if I wanted to, I was undecided, with a perplexed face I texted back.

'Maybe, gtg Simon' I rushed the message as I took a quick glimpse at the time, the taxi would be here any minute, and if it wasn't I'd be late. I couldn't be late, my sister could lash out or be disappointed.

I took a deep breath through my nose and stepped out my apartment with my phone clapped tightly in hand. I practically ran out the house when I heard a faint sound of a car pulling up, I slammed the door shut and shoved the key in swiftly locking it.

I grazed each step at the pace I was going and almost slid over at some point, my hand reached for the taxi and a sense of deja vu entered my swirling rapid head. This seemed familiar with going to that big house the other day, I tried to open the car door but felt embarrassed when it hadn't been unlocked yet. Colour rose to my cheeks when I finally hopped in and settled on the leather seats, I took in the cherry air freshener and felt a tiny bit more comfortable, some certain fruit smells were strikingly calming.

She's going to hate you

My thoughts sniggered and crawled unknowingly to the centre of my brain, they slithered and constricted and instantly I was uneasy.

When the time came to go out the car, shivers ran up my spine and my arms and my legs, everywhere, it was fucking everywhere. I scratched, trying to vanquish them and dissipate this unease, my head spun as I sat down on a bench in the park. My breaths were laboured and ragged, I tried cradling myself to slow it down and then I swung my legs in a particular rhythm to keep me in check.

It'll be okay

My heart stilled at that thought, it was pleasant so I let my hands drop and my legs slow down, a small smile threatened to tug at my lips. I kept looking at the concrete ground to furthermore steady myself, and soon I felt slightly reenergised.