Falling | Olajide Olatunji/KSI

I let her go| 16

Warning: chapter has some heavy scenes

After a whole evening of spilling my guts, I was settled in his bedroom while he collected blankets and spare pillows to toss on the couch. Even though I temporarily lived with night owl boys, this was the first time I properly stayed up with a fellow night owl.

Speaking of night owls.

Simon: Talia and I, worried. Can we come see you.

He's either busy or a more blunt typer than usual. I didn't really buy it that they were both concerned, maybe Talia, but sometimes I thought Simon didn't like me, that all of them didn't.

Me: It's 3am, I don't think you should be driving

I wanted to put, 'for such a silly reason.' But thought better of it.

Why would they ever worry about you? When they come here, they'll say their last goodbyes and won't say where they're moving.

Simon: Where's the address.

He really wasn't giving up, for a split second I felt loved, but I knew it was all an illusion. He'd get up and leave with Talia and the others would disappear and they'd all forget me because I am the least memorable person they've ever met.

"Kiara?" Aiden's deep voice whispered in the darkness, he stumbled over and turned the bedside lamp on. The dim light drew me to his concerned eyes, "Why are you crying? Are you thinking about your family again?"

"No. They're actually the last thing on my mind." It didn't register until then, I was actually crying, I didn't quite catch his words before because I was in a daze, tears were streaming down and I couldn't stop them, their flow rapid. The change was noticeable as my chest started raising up and down uncontrollably, a panic attack. "It's Talia, and Simon, and JJ, and everyone. It's just everyone!"

I screamed then, trying to keep quiet but my lungs were bursting, my chest was seizing with this cluster of panic and uncertainty and it felt like I wasn't me anymore. I was losing myself. "It's okay, you're going to be okay." Aiden cautiously rubbed my back, not wanting to trigger me further.

"It's not! It's not, can't you see?" I wracked with sobs, "These new people in my life, I love them and they're all going to disappear. Aiden, I can't, not after Dad. I don't want to be alone!" My jaw started aching, a dull pang ringing out through my whole body.

"Kiara, listen to me, you're going to make yourself sick." He spoke gently, trying to soothe me. "You've got me haven't you? Did it hit you all of a sudden, or did this happen for a reason?"

My phone pinged beside my thigh, lighting up white. I'd left Simon on read and he was probably worrying too. Stupid me, so so fucking stupid. "Is that them Kiara? Have they provoked this?" His voice transitioned from kind to furious, his face contorting in the dim light.

"No they haven't, th-they were just worried." I proved it to him, showing the recent messages, the screen getting wet from my fresh tears. "Please don't angry, I told him not to come."

His face fell at my last sentence. "Kiara, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have shouted. I wouldn't get angry at you for something like this. Has someone freaked out over this before?" He questioned lightly, and this time I accepted his touch as his fingers prodded my shoulder. "Your friends can come as long as they don't make your condition worse."

I stayed silent at his question. I wasn't allowed to have anyone round after Dad died, it all seemed like a twisted Cinderella story. There would be no ball, no forgotten shoe or prince. I knew I liked JJ, but there would be no chance after I ran away from him.