Addicted - Sweet Pea x OC -Finished-

44- Sepsis

Sweet Peas POV:

She was the thing that consumed all my dreams and even all my nightmares. I found myself going through the worst withdraws of my life. Waking up without her in my arms left a sick feeling in my stomach.

At what point does it get easier? At what point does it stop hurting?

I knew that we weren't good for each other, at least not right now. The truth being that every day I look at her I break more and more. I was never very good at expressing my feelings in the appropriate way, most times I just lashed out in anger.

I loved her more than I ever though possible, and trust me I never wanted to love anyone. I was the guy who never thought about marriage or relationships. I just wanted to be able to hook up with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now, the only thing I can think about is her laugh, or the way her eyes become electric blue when she cries, or her she bites her lip when she is nervous.

Now, I look at her walking the halls with her hand linked in someone else's. I just wanted her to know that I wished her the best, I wanted her to be happy, I needed her to be happy. I know I am the one that ended things with her but that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

As I was walking to my bike outside of school I ran into Reggie. Davina hadn't come out yet, which wasn't abnormal she was usually one of the last ones out of the school. I tried to walk by him but he walked in front of me.

"Move," I said harshly, I wasn't in the mood for his stupid games.

"Look, I get that you and Davina have history, but please just do us both a favor and distance yourself. She needs to heal and she can't do that with you around," Reggie said this not in an angry or aggressive way but in a concerned way.

It still pissed me off though.

"Reggie, do not tell me what is best for her." I said as I shoved by him

"Actually you know what?" I began

"I do have have something to say to you. She'll have nightmares at night, and when she does don't touch her until she makes a move towards you or else she'll have an anxiety attack. She shuts down too easily, it's part of who she is. There will be times when being with her literally drives you insane, when you think it's too difficult...but everything else makes up for that. Don't take her laughs and smiles for granted because they can be pretty rare. When her eyes turn grey that means she's mad, but she wont bring it up. She will need reassurance that you want her because her entire life she was told nobody would. Being with her is a full time job but it is a very rewarding job. Don't give up on that. Lastly, if you hurt her in any way I will hurt you in every possible way I can."

Before he could say anything else I walked away. All I could think about was if I asked for her back would she leave him without hesitation? Would I want that?

"Sweet Pea," I heard a voice say from behind me as I approached my bike.

My entire body froze and my heart dropped to my stomach. I wish I had the courage to ignore her and walk away, but I didn't. When it came to her I was a weak. I slowly turned my body around to face her, trying to put on my best scowl.

"Yeah?" I responded in what I meant to be a bored tone, but it came out pretty harsh.

"Uh.." she froze as she stared at me in shock "Nothing. Never mind."

She then turned and walked back towards Reggie. I let out a loud sigh before taking a step forward.

"Davina,"

She turned to face me and just waved me off. Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I just let her in? Why couldn't I just be her friend?

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