T H I R T Y • F O U R

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I'm thirty four and our kids are saying their first words.

            One second Claire was pushing them out and the next they're already trying to talk to us.

Eliah talked first, but Eloise walked first.

It amazes me that even before they started to talk, they had their own little personalities. I was kind of stupid and thought they would be growing up similarly since they are twins. I was very wrong.

Parenthood is teaching me a lot of things.

For instance, I thought I understood exhaustion before. I had it all wrong. Having twins, now that helps you reach a whole new level of tired. I'm tired all the time, but I also don't really mind. I'd swear off sleeping completely if that's what my little babies needed.

I'm hugging them all the time. I just love them so much. Claire is always making fun of me, she says my need to always squeeze our kids in my arms is just my brain's inability to deal with their overflow of cuteness and because my brain can't process that, I need to squeeze them to death. I let her make fun of me, because she knows she's just as bad. If it wasn't for the fact that even if we have a good amount of money saved, I still need to keep working I'd be staying home all the time with Claire and the kids.

Claire still works a little too, but everything she does, she does it at home and it's usually writing small pieces to fill her paper, or helping with the research, it's never anything that needs her to change out of her pyjamas.

I thought I couldn't love Claire more than in her cute Sunday brunch outfits, but I've gotta admit that I have a soft spot for Claire in sweatpants, fuzzy socks, and in one of my t-shirts with her hair in a messy bun taking care of our kids. 

I thought I understood love before, but I underestimated how this simple little family life could make me completely redefine its meaning.

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