F I F T Y • O N E

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I'm fifty one and our kids are off to college.

I thought I would throw a party when they would finally go off to college and it could be just Claire and me again but I'm actually devastated. Claire and I both are.

We drive them to their dorms and get them settled. I know they're also kind of freaking out too because they won't be staying together. They've always been together. The four of us, we've been this close knit little unit and everything about not being all together feels wrong.

But our children are growing up. They're not children anymore. Claire and I have to accept that and let them make their own way in the world now.

When we're back home, Claire takes out a bottle of Tequila. "Why are you taking that one out? Tequila is our break up drink," I tell her.

"Well, doesn't it kind of feel like our kids just broke up with us?"

"Yeah, definitely. Hand me that bottle."

So we make a considerable dent in the bottle, going through family albums. We're a little pathetic, but I think that's okay and we're totally allowed.

"Time goes by too fast. A year is still a year, but doesn't it feel like it passes faster all the time?" Claire tells me while were sitting on the swing on our back porch. She's tucked between my legs and I'm hugging her against my chest, my cheek pressed against the top of her head. The sun has set and the night is dark except for the few fireflies shining now and then in our backyard.

"Of course it does. Time passes faster because the older you get the more time you can compare it to. It's kind of like always keeping the one in a fraction, but changing the denominator. One is one. But when you compare it to a two or to a five, one becomes smaller. One fifth is smaller than one half. And so one year when you're twenty is a lot longer in comparison to what you've experience than one year when you're sixty two."

"You adorable drunk," Claire says with a chuckle and then kisses me.

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