Crash and Burn

t h i r t y t w o: The Race

Breathe in.

Breathe out.  

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

I had been repeating this mantra in my head for the past twenty minutes to try and calm my nerves. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. I kept glancing over at the judges every two seconds, which only made my nerves worse but I couldn't help it. The four of them were huddled around the documents saying who was racing, what number they are, and their racing history. I bet they were talking about who they think is going to win. 

I could only hope they were counting on it being me. 

I was racing against fifteen other people, which isn't that much considering most races have at least fifty people, but for a race this advanced; fifteen were a lot of people. 

I continued my stretching and warm-up routine, putting in my best effort to focus on the race and the race only. 

However there was one thing gnawing away at me, and it was the fact that Roman wasn't here yet. I looked up into the stands, immediately spotting Darren and Gemma seated with Casey and my mom. Logan was a few seats over with some of his friends whom I recognized, and the thought that they all came here to support me made me feel a little better. 

The race was scheduled to start in ten minutes if everything goes according to schedule, and so far it was. Every racer was here with their numbers pinned to their shirts, all of us warming up. 

If I couldn't get my mind off Roman then I would blow it. I could ruin one of the most important days of my senior year, but apparently, my brain couldn't comprehend that threat as it kept picturing Roman's face in my head. He had been all I could think about until the moment I fell asleep last night and immediately when I woke up this morning. 

I internally sighed, closing my eyes to try and create a different picture in my head. My coach always told me that if you close your eyes and envision yourself doing something then you'll be able to do it in reality too. So, I pictured myself crossing the finish line in the first place, everyone cheering for me in the stands as the judges came over to shake my hand and give me the trophy. I smiled at the thought, now convincing myself that I was ready to do this thing. I was gonna win and no one could stop me. 

"Okay, racers it's time to line up at the starting mark, be sure to maintain your numerical order," one of the judges spoke thought the microphone that he was holding. A hush came over the stands as they realized the race was about to start; all of them simultaneously turning their attention to the track where all of us were lining up. 

I stood to the right of an extremely lanky and tall blonde boy and to the left of a girl who looked like she could eat me for breakfast. I gulped. I'm a whopping 5'3. I had raced against tall people before, but never against ones who had the times to qualify for such a prestigious race. I shook my head to myself, not wanting to put unnecessary thoughts of doubt in my head right before the announcer says it's time to begin. 

I stretch my calves out one last time, glancing around me to notice that the majority of the racers here were boys. There were only three girls including me and I would be damned if I let a boy think that just because I'm a small blonde then that means he would have no trouble beating me. I was gonna give everyone here a run for their money. 

"Okay, racers we're going to begin. On the count of three you will begin racing," the announcer starts. I give one last glance up at my mom. She smiles and nods at me, giving me thumbs up. My body relaxes some, but I could definitely still feel a whole weight ton of tension spread throughout my whole body.