Crash and Burn

s i x t y: The Final Lie

After the first tequila shot, I got a rush of energy, unlike anything I've ever felt before. I told myself I was only going to have one, but I also had the burning desire to force myself to spend one night forgetting. Forgetting everything.

"What do you say we have another one?" Isabella had asked me, a dazed look in her eyes. She had already had two drinks before this, but she didn't look like she was stopping anytime soon. 

I hesitate for a moment, which she noticed. She signed dramatically, crossing her arms over her chest with a playful scowl. 

The pinch in my chest telling me to drink until I'm numb sparks again. 

This time I can't resist it when I say, "Fine, another round."

Isabella squeals in delight at my almost immediate cave-in to her wishes, but I don't really feel bothered by it. My life is completely different now. Dead boyfriend. Dead father who was killed by my dead boyfriend's adoptive father. The end of high school. Starting college in New York in a little less than three months. 

I might as well signify this very evident change with a bang. 

After the second shot, I feel even lighter in my chair, then after the third one, I feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. The fourth shot makes me feel all giggly, and then the fifth one makes my speech begin to slur. 

"How about another one?" Isabella slurs, wobbling in her chair. She had consumed more alcohol than me, but she seemed to be able to tolerate more than me anyway. We were the same level of drunk and I had less than her. 

I giggle, followed by a hiccup. "I- I guess...one more tequila is good!" 

Isabella claps at my stuttered sentence, then laughs loudly which draws the attention of some other people in the bar. I had no sense of time, not knowing how long we've even been here by this point. 

I clumsily pick up my phone as Isabella talks to Haley, most likely ordering our next round. My eyes go cross-eyed when I see that it's past midnight, but I shrug it off. I'm a big girl now! I internally laugh, letting a lopsided smile take over my features. However, that's when I notice all of my missed calls and text messages. 

I had around ten missed calls from my mom, then five from Gemma and Darren each. I don't even think I can read the messages, and then again, I don't really want to. They're trying to ruin my fun! I never get to have fun. A pout takes over my features, but I'm quickly distracted by Isabella who nudges me. 

"Oop," I giggle, wobbling a little in my barstool as Isabella slides my shot and lime over to me. I pour the salt on my hand and lick it off, dramatically puckering my lips. I tilt my sixth shot back before biting into the lime, letting out a grotesque burp when I slam the glass down. 

Isabella's eyes squint shut, a snort leaving her lips as she laughs loudly at my un-lady-like display. Well, fuck those gender roles! Just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't burp when I need to. Plus, it was an accident!

I cover my mouth as Isabella tears up, holding her belly shaking with laughter. Just seeing her laughing so hard at me makes me want to join her, so that's exactly what I do. I don't know when the last time I laughed this hard was, but I'm very much enjoying it. 

I don't protest when Isabella orders us another round without even asking if I want another, letting her whisk Haley over. Haley looks at us skeptically. 

"Are you sure you guys need anymore? How are you getting home?"

"My- b-boyfriend is gonna" hiccup, "Get us!" I say it, not even processing my own words. Isabella pouts at me, which I ignore. I give Haley the puppy dog eyes who sighs in defeat.