Change the Fate of the Cannon Fodder

12

When Feixiang walked back to his quarters he couldn't wait to get some real alone time with Tian Yi. He hadn't been able to properly speak, touch or even see his man for months. However when he entered their room he saw Tian Yi dozing off on the bed. He had fallen asleep while waiting for Feixiang to return. Tian Yi had been sitting on the bed with his legs hanging over the side of of the bed, but now his upper body was slumped over to one side while he was still maintaining his seating position. It looked very uncomfortable and it was obvious that no one could sleep in that position unless they were incomparably exhausted. Feixiang helplessly gazed at the man who couldn't properly take care of himself. Feixiang approached the bed and lifted Tian Yi's legs onto the bed. He turned Tian Yi so that he was lying on his back, and then covered him with a blanket, ensuring that he was comfortable. Tian Yi didn't even stir at having his limbs maneuvered around.

Realizing that Tian Yi must have been drained from the months of hyper attentiveness and stress, he decided to just let Tian Yi sleep for however long he needed. Feixiang stepped out of the room and stood on the path that led to the hot springs that he had specially remodelled just for Tian Yi. He remembered how hard he pushed the workers to complete it by night. He employed more than a thousand workers and oversaw the entire process to make sure everything was perfect. Now that he thinks back, it was such a nerve wracking moment. If Tian Yi didn't like it, everything would have been for nothing.

Feixiang thoughtfully looks forward and thinks about how he wants Tian Yi to stand by his side forever. Now he just needs to bind Tian Yi to his side forever. He needs to propose...Feixiang's palms are sweaty just thinking about how to go about proposing to him. What if Tian Yi says no? What if he thinks that being with Royalty is too much stress? What if I'm not as important to him as he is to me? We only said we would try, we never made any promises about forever. This path will be a hard one, there will be so many hardships and we will face a lot of opposition. It could get dangerous. Can I really put him through that? Can I really bear to expose him to danger? Can I be so selfish?

Feixiang looked distressed and confused. His hands clenched and unclenched at his side, but his face remained expressionless. No matter how messed up he felt inside, he would never break the Royal facade. Never let anyone find your weakness, never let anyone see your emotions. Feixiang was very clear that he could never fully trust the people by his side, humans were so fickle, their hearts could change at any time. Feixiang ridiculed himself for becoming so emotional. He had never believed that any emotion could be forever, even love. He always knew that his parents were one in a million, he knew that he would have a political marriage with no feelings. However now everything had changed.

Feixiang decided he would propose to Tian Yi anyways. He wouldn't be so hypocritical and make the decision for him. He would tell it like it is and Tian Yi could make the decision about his own life. How could he say that he loved Tian Yi if he didn't even trust him to make his own decisions? Feixiang wanted to give this a shot, his emotions for Tian Yi weren't temporary or fickle so Feixiang wanted a chance at forever.

Feixiang relaxed and headed back into the room where Tian Yi was still sleeping. Tian Yi looked so defenseless, his arms were splayed outwards and his mouth was slightly open. He seemed so relaxed and comfortable, so Feixiang decided to join him. Feixiang removed his outer robes and laid next to Tian Yi. His eyes softened as he watched Tian Yi's cute, innocent sleeping face, and he drifted off with his eyes still on Tian Yi.

Ni Ni sat cross-legged as she observed the whole situation. Seeing Feixiang's nervousness and conviction she had mixed feelings. She could relate with the butterflies in the stomach feeling. How many times had she stood nervously waiting to give Ru Ru a surprise. The clammy palms, trembling hands and shuffling feet were so common that even now her body remembers those feelings so acutely. After a millenia Ru Ru's face is still permanently etched into her mind. Everyday she fears that she might forget Ru Ru's face, but it never fades. Everytime she closes her eyes Ru Ru's smile and mischievous eyes come to mind. Maybe I'm like Tian Wu...I just can't let go. Everytime I see a woman I search her face for any resemblance to my Ru Ru. It might be a relief and reprieve to forget Ru Ru and move on, but her heart stubbornly clings to the memories and years of feelings between them. Even when Ni Ni tries to appreciate other beautiful women, Ru Ru's image overlays their faces. Host I'm jealous of your love...