The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

Training and... Suna?

     Tsubaki was hot. The sun was beating down on her perfect ass, but, oh lord, did she want to die. "Okay, we're stopping here."

     Naruto and Sasuke collapsed to the ground, beat by the run around the village... 200 times. She went around 500 times because of her better 'experience.' "If I was masochist-sensei, I would've made you guys run another 300 laps."

     The duo shivered at the thought of that and paled. There was no way they would withstand that. "Tsubaki-chan... Why so much, dattebayo!"

     "Hn," her twin managed out in between breathes, "Dobe. She started at a much younger age."

     "I usually have enough stamina to last a lifetime though!" he whined, clearly distressed at the gap of capabilities.

     The female Madara lightly tapped the jinchuriki on the head, "Stamina is great and all, but your running form is disgraceful. You waste to much power in your strides and should just have the ball of your foot touching the ground."

     "She's right, dobe."

     The Uzumaki turned back and forth between the two siblings, feeling betrayed.

     "Alright, then. Let's have a break."

     Quickly, the boy gained his vitality. "YOSH! I want ramen!"

     "I brought some nigiri and rice balls."

     The Uchiha girl took out the food, arraying it in a way where it was accessible to them all. "Dig in."

     She shifted through her bag to take out some Tamoyaki that she prepared herself. "Itadakimasu!"

     The blond stared at the steaming tamoyaki. "HEY! Why don't we get any?!"

     A tick mark appeared on Tsubaki's forehead. "If you don't want the food I made, then go down the mountain and get some for yourself."

     Yes, that is right. They were atop the Hokage Mountain. 

     The onyx haired girl plopped herself down on Hashirama's head, which she had claimed as her own territory. No one else was allowed to sit or do anything to his head, or there would be consequences.

     She cheerfully chewed her food, not caring about anything else in the world. 

     Then.

     She heard someone going through her bag. She zeroed in on who: the shithead twin. And he pulled out something that all women never wanted to have fall out of her bag... A pad.

     It was there in case anything happened. The womanly thing never occurred yet, but she had to be prepared for any possible contingencies... Being a woman really was troublesome.

     A war cry was let out as she charged at her brother, not even caring anymore about the oath. He fucking took it out. He had to die. The jet-black haired Uchiha toppled her bro over and held a knife up, ready to stab his mortified face.

     Then, something snapped her out of it... Sharingan. And she busted out laughing. "KAmI! You seriously?! ... I cAN't... PUSSY!"

     She rolled off of him, still laughing and pounding her fist into the ground. The emo just blushed darkly and scowled, obviously embarrassed. 

     Naruto could only stare. He didn't dare say a word... Cause let's just say, Sasuke Uchiha got off pretty lucky.

     In the meantime, Kurama was laughing his foxy-ass off.

     Mentally, Tsubaki and the Kyuubi fistbumped.

------*****------

     "So," the Hokage drawled, asking again for reassurance, "What do you mean about going to Sunagakure?"

     "I mean what I say," she persisted, "I want to go over to Suna and be a diplomatic envoy of the Leaf and better our relations."

     "You are not even a ninja, much less graduated from the Academy... How in my right mind would you think I would say yes?"

     Tsubaki put her finger to her chin,"I think we both know that I am more capable than a genin, as you have agreed with the training of Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha... Also, I am quite manipulative and seem harmless... Who's better to send than someone they think they can take advantage of?"

     He let out a heaved sigh, "I wasn't even planning on sending someone in the first place. Since about 90% of your information is 'Classified,' how about you try to tell me why you're pushing to do so in the first place."

     The silence that filled the room was so eminent that you could practically hear the crackle of fire from his pipe. Hesitantly, she answered,"The Kazekage is going to be targeted later on, and I have no doubt that he will be assassinated... And after that, we will be turned on. So, in order for that to happen, we need to strengthen the bonds of the country so seamlessly turning on each other will cause confusion and riots in the Sand Village."

     The Sarutobi let out another sigh, almost reminding her vaguely of the Nara Clan. "I will let you go... On one condition."

     Eagerly, she inclined further, "What is it?"

     "You will allow aides to accompany you on your journey there. They will be handpicked by me, of course."

     By the smirk on his, she could tell that the old man had came up with something in his head. She didn't like it either. Aides weren't bad, but it would just take her much, much longer than needed to get there. A sandstorm along the way was also a possibility.

     "The ninjas I would like to go with you are Inoichi Yamanaka and Kakashi Hatake." The man had a victorious grin on his face, but was then dropped when his secretary came in with a new stack of papers that needed approval.

     A bad foreboding feeling came over her. Tsubaki knew that her trip wasn't just going to be a lovely chat among Konoha shinobi, but a battle of wits and deception. 

     And she was now up against the man that could see through all.