The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

The First Hokage Revealed

     "Why aren't you helping meeeee!!!" Hashirama whined, clearly distressed at his own slip-up.

     "Just use your power, idiot, " she muttered, "You're hailed as the most highly regarded shinobi here."

     "Right!" he exclaimed, gaining a victorious smile. Drince I am the Shodaime Hokage, I say that we are allowed to leave!"

     She facepalmed, "Idiot... They're not going to believe something you can't back up. Use your Mokuton as intimidation and whatever."

     "O-oh, right."

     The jounin sweatdropped, "There is no way that he is-."

     However, they stopped when tendrils of wood snaked its way into the room through the window. It continued to grow and anyone could hear the pressure of it on the wood and glass.

     The Hokage cleared his throat, "Alright, that is more than enough to back your claims... But Shodaime-same, why have you returned. And how?"

     He scratched the top of his head, thinking heavily about the topic. "... I absolutely have no idea how I got reborn or why... But at least I've got a friend with me."

    The Senju's hand gripped her shoulder in a friendly manner and beamed at the current Hokage. Tsubaki glared at the contact. "Who said you could touch me?"

     He 'eepped' and quickly moved away. "That's what I thought."

     The Sandaime held his pipe tightly, "I see your relationship with the First Hokage is an unbreakable bond. If I may ask, who were you exactly in your past life?"

     A dark look crossed her face, "Do you really want to find out?"

     The man simply nodded.

     "Well, I don't feel the need to, after all, the First Hokage's trust in me should be enough... After all, you should be lucky to have me on your side... Otherwise, the annihilation of this village would be the future."

     Sarutobi's eyes narrowed, "Is that a threat?"

     "No, it's just the truth."

     The room turned several degrees colder and the matter-of-fact tone sent shivers down their spine. There was no way in hell Tsubaki was lying.

     Masking her demeanor with a light smile, she asked, "Since Hashirama's identity is known, what will you do? Release it to the villagers? With this information, Konoha will be more likely to gain allies, but more powerful enemies will arise... What will you do, Hokage-sama?"

     A pondering look crossed his face. However, the other jounins weren't as quick, as they were still recovering from the shock of 'Genma's' identity.

      "Hokage-sama, you can't just believe these kids!"

     The leader raised his hand to silence them, "This boy in front of me has similar features, has the Mokuton kekkai genkai, and has the same personality. It would be irrational to not believe them at this point... And because of that, I believe that it would be most wise to have me personally govern over them as a 'sensei.'

    "Wait, what?!" the Uchiha female sputtered, "That will only attract MORE attention, may I add!"

     "However, when you two choose to use higher level jutsus, it will not be too suspicious as you two would be "training" under me."

     "Tch." Reluctant to admit it, she turned her head in the opposite direction. It did seem like the best choice. "But I'm the kunoichi of the year, not Rookie though. I practically failed any test that involved speeches of any kind."

     "I'll just say that you interested me and I found promise in you... And the Shodaime."

     Sighing, the mokuton user commanded, "Call me Genma. I've gotten use to that name after all these years."

     "Right. So, about dealing with Sasuke and Naruto... You will be placed on a separate team than them, however, both teams will work together on missions. Does that seem fair?"

     "It'll keep them not too happy, but not too angry..." she mused, "I guess I can agree to that... And let me hypothesize that Kakashi is their sensei."

     "You're right on it."

     In a kind of ticked off tone, the silverette said, "To you, I'm Kakashi-san, Tsubaki-chan."

     With a smirk, she turned to him, "I thought that you would've been taught to respect your elders, Kakashi. It may not seem like it, but in my other life, I was a force to be reckoned with. Now if you excuse me, the correct way to call me would be Uchiha-dono. After all, I plan on heading what's left of clan."

     At that, the jounin in the room were dumbfounded, even the Sandaime himself. "I don't believe making you the clan head is wise."

     Scowling, the onyx orbed girl flicked away a stray eyelash, "My brother refuses to live in the compound and the other is on the run... Explain to me how I am not already the head of the Uchiha."

     "I do not think that Danzo will approve of that."

     She laughed, her shoulders heaving, "H-ha... God, I needed that comic relief..."

     The Uchiha let out a low whistle and spoke softly, "Sugar Daddy needs some milk from Chili's."

     An Anbu appeared before her, one that the Hokage had never seen before. "Who is that?"

     "Well, I wanted a person Anbu of my own cause... I can? Yeah, so I named him 'Sugar Daddy needs some milk from Chili's'."

     "Oh, this, poor, poor soul, "Hashirama commented with a forlorn tone.

     "I also named one 'Hit me up with that good shit, my homie."

     One more Anbu appeared. "Oh, sorry man. You can go back to your hidey-hole now."

     The nin with the porcupine mask slunked away. Everyone in the room sweatdropped.

     "Last but not least... There's 'Stalk that kid with that fine ASS... Ra. However, he's off in Sunagakure right now, so he won't randomly appear in the room."

     Clearing his throat and trying not to laugh, the Kage asked, "How did you get your hands on those Anbu?"

     "Blackmailed Danzo. You know, once you do some digging, that guy had done a lot of f'ed up shit, but now he is a mere puppet... I'm the leader of the Konoha's Underground now, which actually sounds really bad once I say it."

     Kakashi stared at her with wide eyes, "You... managed to blackmail him?!"

     "Yes... But let's get this show on he road, shall we? I've assumed that you all have already have your teams chosen... So shoo. Especially you, Hatake. Your reputation on being late precedes you. Don't keep my friends waiting."

     "Hai..."