The Rumor Mill

Ch. 19

Chapter 19

The next morning, I stayed in bed. Yvette came in to see if I were okay, I'd just nod my head. She was uncertain at first, be then she left.

God, I can't believe I cheated on James last night, then I lied to his face saying I'd never hurt him. What's wrong with me? Why didn't I just tell him right then and there, save everyone the wait. I'll tell you why, because I was afraid to. I saw the hurt mixed with anger in his eyes yesterday when he thought Marcus and I were being more than friendly.

I don't want to cause him that pain again. I don't want to see him hurting. Maybe I shouldn't tell him about William, yeah, maybe I shouldn't. I'll just continue on with my life with James, he'll never have to know.

That's unless Marcus doesn't open his big mouth. I hope and pray he doesn't. He said that if I didn't tell James, he would, and it'll make matters so much worst. I HAVE to tell James....right? It's the right thing to do...right? I hav-knock knock.

There was a knock at my door. Is it James? How will I face him? I can't look him in the eyes and lie again, it had took all my strength to do that last night. Knock knock.

"Uh...come in?" I hesitated at first, but relief swept over me when I saw Andrew. I moved into a sitting position on my bed, the covers still covering my lap. Andrew came and sat down on my bed infront of me. "What's wrong Trace? It's near noon and you're still in bed."

"Nothing's wro-"

"Don't lie to me," his voice was strong and demanding, yet concerned and calm. I exhaled in defeat. I have no choice but to tell Andrew, I mean, he's my bestfriend. "I uh...I did something stupid yesterday," I started in a low voice.

"Like..." he pushed, looking into my eyes. I averted my eyes and focused on the cover lying on my lap. "Like kissing someone...who wasn't James," I mumbled, almost whispered.

"Aw Tracey," he sighed, disappointment in his voice. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I wasn't thinking...it just...it just happened it...just happened," I whispered as tears forced themselves to my cheeks. Andrew scooted closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into his shoulder while his hand started brushing the back of my head.

"Come on Trace don't cry. You know I hate seeing you cry," he said with a fake chuckle. Although I couldn't see his face, I could tell he was worried by in voice tone.

Days passed after Andrew and I had that talk in my room. He'd convinced me to just own up to my mistakes, and hope that James will understand. He'd said that of course James will be upset at first, but hopefully he'd get over it. I decided to trust and listen to that.

In school, I tried pretending like everything was okay, but James asked if I was alright and I'd just lie to him, again. Then it got to the point where I couldn't even look into his eyes without feeling guilt, so I tried avoiding him. It didn't work. He'd come over to the house, and I'd ask Yvette to tell him I'm not here.

Meanwhile, Marcus kept trying to talk to me in private, but everytime we were finally alone, James would appear and we'd scurry apart.

So today is the fourth day that I hadn't told James, and hadn't even spoken to him. I'm sitting in my room with Marcus. This is his fifth attempt. Marcus was sitting in my desk chair, while I'm sitting on the edge of my bed facing him.

"Let me start by saying I never intended on hurting you, and I know you have your own problems going on right now, but it feels like it's now or never," he explained. I nodded my head. "Okay," he began. "Well, you know that it happened at Andrew'shouse, but you never knew why it happened. I never gave you a proper excuse, so here it is," he added. Yeah, he was staying the summer over Andrew's house. He took a deep breath and continued.