The Rumor Mill

Ch.20

Chapter 20

Marcus and I were sitting on my bed facing each other. "So, now you know," Marcus said with a defeated sigh. I shook the flashback out of my head as I tried to focus on the now. Three years, it's been exactly three years since this incident happened. Should I move on? Forgive him? My parents always taught to forgive, but never forget. They said you always have to remember, so you can make sure it won't happen again.

"I forgive you," I mumbled honestly. Marcus' head popped up from its previous stated; bowing down. "Really?" he asked, shock covering his voice. "Yes. My parents always told me to forgive people, no matter how bad they hurt you. So....I forgive you," I answer simply.

All of a sudden, he pulled me into a hug saying how sorry and thank he was, and how good it feels to have that burden off his shoulders. Once he started to pull away, he looked me in my eyes.

His hands hadn't left my body yet as happiness shined through his eyes. The next thing I knew, everything stated moving in slow motion, Marcus was leaning towards me and then....

"Tracey, I know you said you weren't feeling well but-" James cut himself off when you saw Marcus and I quickly pull away Oh my God! I can't believe I almost kissed Marcus! What the hell is wrong with me kissing other guys lately?! A flash of emotions took control of James' eyes; first, surprise, then confusion, then anger.

Marcus slowly stood up and looked from James to me. "I'll just talk to you later Tracey," he suggested as he started heading towards the door, but James didn't move to let him pass. "No man, you stay. Apparently she'd rather talk to you than me," he said, his eyes never leaving me.

"No it's cool. I don't mind leaving," Marcus replied, but James still didn't move. He just kept looking at me. "Why have you been avoiding me Tracey?" James asked out of the blue, his voice stinging with suspense and confusion. "Everytime I come around, you completely distance yourself from me. And whenever I DO see you, you're always with this guy," he gestures to Marcus with his thumb.

I shook my head viciously. "It's not what you think Ja-"

"Really, and how would you know what I think? We haven't had a full conversation in days. Hell, THIS is the most we've talked in days," he pointed out, his voice eerily calm. "And then I come in here, and find you practically kissing your ex-"

"No! We weren't kissing! We were just talking," I protested to him. He shook his head in disappointment. ""Are you cheating on me Tracey?" he asked calmly, although the anger in his voice was too strong not to notice. "What? No! James I would never-I mean I didn't mean to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he cut me off, raising his hand for me to stop. Dang it! I said too much! "Are you....are you telling me that...I was...you are?" he asked for verification; his voice shook with shock and sadness. Marcus clapped his hands together once and announced he was leaving. "Okay! I'm just gonna leave you two alone-"

"No, you stay! Since you're obviously the one she's cheating on me with!" James yelled, pointed an accusing finger at Marcus. "Hey! I don't have anything to do with this!" Marcus shouted back in defense. "Bullsh*t! I knew it! I knew as soon as you got here you'd try to get her again!" James snapped back quickly. I stood up off the bed and walked between the two.

"Stop it! Both of you!" I shout, trying to calm them down. "Why Tracey! Why would you cheat on me? Have I not been good to you? How could you do this to me? And with him of all people?!" James yelled again. I suddenly felt tears clouding my view. "Hey man! I told you, I'm not the one she kissed!" Marcus shouted in defense again.

"Are you kidding me?! So there's another dude in the picture Tracey?! Who the hell is he?! How long has this been going on?!" he shouted, anger dripping from every word spoken. I blinked once, causing the tears to escape my eyes. I can't take this anymore. All this lying, it's not me. I'm not a liar. "It's not an on-going thing! It was just one kiss! I swear!" I say, pleading with him to believe me. "Who?! When did this ONE kiss happen?!" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "William, at Timothey's party," I whispered. "Timothey's party?! You've been lying to me this entire time?! ARE YOU FU-" I cut himself off and raked his fingers through his hair, trying to control his anger. "You told me. You told me at the party that you'd NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT ME!" he pointed out, shouting towards the end of the sentence.

The tears started flowing and I couldn't stop them, I didn't want to. "I-I-I-I know! I j-j-j-just....I'm s-s-so s-s-sorry James! It just h-h-h-happened!" I stuttered through my sobs as I tried my best to explain. "No! You're not sorry! D*mn it Tracey! Do you know how much I lo-"

He cut himself off and took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. What was he about to say? Was he about to say he loved me? Oh my God...I can't believe I messed this up. "As far as I'm concerned...." He paused and closed his eyes. "I don't know a Tracey Turner," he whispered the last part, and I could tell it pained him to say it.

At that moment, I felt a pain shoot through my chest. "What? No, James just listen to me-"

"You know what, save it. And don't you ever talk to me again," his voice shook as he made eye contact with me. I could see the pain filling his eyes, making them shimmer, yet not allowing any sadness to run down his face. He left the room and shut the door, lightly. I was about to run after him when Marcus, who've been quiet this entire time, grabbed hold of my wrist. "He didn't mean it Tracey. Just let him cool off, it'll all be work out in the end," his comforting words did nothing to my heart.

Then he pulled me into a comforting hug as I cried into his chest. I can't believe I messed this up. I love James....wait, wow. I don't think I've ever admitted that. And out of all the circumstances, now is when I finally do so? How screwed up am I. The boy I loved just walked out of my love because of my stupidity, and I'm 100% sure he's never going to talk to me again.

James and I are over. And this time, it's official...

All of a sudden I felt useless, and a cheater, and single, and lonely. I wanted to feel loved, I wanted someone to hold me and tell me they loved me. I don't want to feel this pain, I don't want to feel my heart break into millions of pieces. I just want to forget everything. Forget Timothey's party, forget ever moving here, forget my parents died. I just want to remember the happy days, where my parents and I would sit on the couch and have or traditional movie night every other week.

I just wanted to forget it all. I looked up at Marcus, who was looking at me with concern. All of a sudden, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him towards me, and kissed him with everything I had. He was shocked at first, like he didn't know what to do.

But as I licked his bottom lip, he quickly responded and opened his mouth as his arms gripped tighter around my waist. Our tongues began moving together and for I felt as though I'm kissing all my problems away. Marcus pulled away. "Tracey, I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, you and James just broke up so you're vulnerable and-"

"Shh," I shushed him with my hand covering his mouth. "No talking, just let me enjoy this," I stated and began kissing him again. But I could tell he was hesitant. "Please Tracey, I don't what to take advantage of you-"

"You won't. I'm offering," I pointed out. I pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him, so I'm straddling him with my legs. I started kissing down his neck and unbuttoning his pants. "No, Tracey. I can't do this, it's not right-"

I shut him up as I removed my top, revealing my red bra. He was eyes it with pure lust in his eyes. I just want to forget, I just want to forget. I just want to forget, I chanted in my head. I leaned down to kiss him again, and this time...he didn't stop me...

(AN: sorry it's short and not as good, I just wrote this so you guys can have a little something something for a few days...keep the faith...the story just getting started, I have a lot more ideas for James and Tracey....and Marcus....muwahaha!....but seriously I do...xoxo)