IMPERFECTION (AN INTERCULTURAL LOVE STORY )

Short lived.

Two months later

I tossed on the bed. Khalifa is deeply asleep. I can't seem to get any sleep. I don't know why am being restless. I checked the alarm clock by the bed side. The time is just 17 past one. I stood up from the bed. Paced round the room. I brought out my tablet to maybe watch a movie. That too not working.

I went down to the kitchen. Checked in all the cabinets. Nothing there interested me. I checked inside the fridge and freezer, still the same. I rubbed my hands on baby bump. I went back to the room checked on Google to check anything to soothe my restless. i read that Meghan Markle  did some yoga when she also felt restless. But the problem is I Know nothing about yoga. So I played a video on YouTube.

I tried to copy the steps but it's hard. My bump keeps getting in the way. I gave all that up and finally went to the bed. I woke khalifa up.

"What" he asked in his sleepy  raspy voice.

"I can't sleep ".

"Try. Force yourself. Close your eyes shut "  he said not opening his eyes. Still sleepy.  "And you think I haven't tried that. I want a massage " he didn't answer, I woke him again.

"Whaatttt" he semi yelled getting irritated. "I need a massage. My back aches. " He turns to me and gave me a look that can kill. I pout.  "Turn " he said.

I laid on my side. My bump is on the way so I can't lay on my stomach. He massaged my back in an unsatisfying way. "Not that way. You're not putting pressure" he didn't answer he continued with what was doing. I was forced to stop him. I don't like the way he's massaging me like I was forcing him to do it.

"I'm hungry" I sat up as he was about to sleep again. "Go to the kitchen and fix yourself something. ".

"Why are you so heartless. You got me pregnant remember. Am in this situation because of you. I can't sleep and you want to sleep peacefully. Just to get me something to eat has become a difficult task for you " I don't even know why I am angry to be honest

He sat up,mugged the hell out of me. "Anu, this is past one. I have work to get to tomorrow morning. Please don't let us start with this again. I beg you "

"But the baby is hungry. Not me" I rubbed my bump. He sighed. "What do you want to eat?"

"Turkey or catfish peppersoup " he turned to me and had this 😲 look. "This late?" I nod.

"First it's late. Second, I don't know how to prepare that and I can't go out this midnight in search of any pepper soup. ".

"I would teach you. Its easy , we have turkey in the freezer, just boil it and add some spicy Ghana pepper. I think I have that in one yellow container. Check Sha. I don't want it too spicy o. And please be careful with the amount of salt you add. Just a pinch. " Khalifa's look right now is more than that of an angry one. He kept mugging me. "Oya na" I whined.

He stood up and mummred "you could have done that if you know how to do it " before leaving. I ignored him and played candy crush on my phone. Ten minutes later, he came back in with a tray of hot peppersoup. He placed it on my laps. Three full  Turkey laps were playing in the pool of steamy pepper soup. I smiled at him before eating . He brought a table water and placed it on the bed stand. The peppersoup is not that bad but not really delicious  also. Khalifa stared at me as I ate the turkey.

"Where's the bowl I'll wash my hands in.".

"Get up, get into the bathroom and wash your hands" he said laying down. I went into the bathroom, washed my hands and finally took my bath. I didn't feel like wearing anything so I came out naked. Khalifa saw me shook his head. I ignored him and went on the bed.

❣️❣️

It's Saturday. Am home alone. Khalifa went out for a couple of drinks with the guys.

I haven't been feeling too well. My head has been  hurting . I shrug it because I thought it's nothing big.

I was walking down the stairway when I suddenly felt dizzy. I tired to find my balance,I missed a step. The last thing I remember before passing out was me rolling down the stairs.

🌺🌺

I stuttered my eyes open. Glanced  around my surroundings. It's was all white. At first I thought I was in heaven already, then I heard a beeping sound. I turned to my right and saw a heart monitor. I felt someone's hand tighten on my left hands, I turned and saw Khalifa wrapped his hands around mine. He bowed his heads on our hands. I moved my hands careful. He faced up and saw I was awake .

"Alhamdulillai you're awake" he said.i nod. I tied to speak but my throat was dry. "How are you feeling now" I blinked.

"What Happened" I asked in a hoarse  voice. " I got back home on Saturday and found you in front of the stairway".

"What is today" I asked. "Monday" he replied. He has this worried look. I tried to sit up but the pain I felt in my stomach is unimaginable.  My right hands found its to way to my stomach and I know this might sound crazy but my bump is not there. My stomach still feels swollen. I know how my stomach is. But this, I don't understand.

Panic washed all over me I turned to khalifa who looks away. " What happened" I asked frightfully. " Where's my baby. " khalifa still won't look up or answer . "Answer me". Tears we're begging to well up in my eyes. The door opens and  Rhukayat came in. Rhukayat is a family friend and also my obstetrician.

"You're awake" she moved forward. "What Happened to my baby. Where's my baby" I asked in the same panic tone I asked Khalifa.

"Please just calm down. You just had surgery. And you're still healing " she said.

"Surgery?. What is going on here?.can one of you please tell me"

"I promise to tell you if you're calm. " She said. "Ok I'm calm. ".

"You have to take things easy. You suffered from Pre Eclampsia. It's was critical to the extent where we have to operate on you because we had to choose between the foetus and your life.  You were brought in late. There was no enough oxygen for the foetus. We had to save your life".

The tears found it's way down my eyes. I can't explain what I feel right now. A child i was growning to love. That I'm eagerly waiting for was taken away from me. I cried endlessly. I couldn't help it. I didn't care what anyone thought. I fell asleep afterwards.

I woke up later  that night. Khalifa was still sitting in the same spot he was earlier.

"Khalifa?" I called. He turns to me " my love".

"What was the gender" I asked  quietly. He was silent for a while before answering " she was a girl. "

"Was she beautiful" I asked as tears rolled out he nod.

"I always wanted a daughter as my first child. I was so happy about being a mother. The experience I felt was unexplainable. I've grown to love her even with her in my womb. I knew how you loved kids. I was really happy we were going to have a child of our own. I wanted our own little family" I turned to Khalifa who's eyes was blood shot. He had tears welled up in his eyes also.

"I made the hardest decision of my life when I was asked to sign so the baby could be terminated. I had to save you. I just couldn't lose you but losing my first child. That shit hurts like hell. It was all my fault. If I were at home with you. Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. If only I hadn't gone out with the guys. If only I was there by your side" The tears found it's way out of his eyes. My heart gripped seeing Khalifa like this. This is the first time I'm seeing him like this... This vulnerable.

"Please don't blame yourself... Please" my voice cracked. " All this was destined to happen. Just don't blame yourself. When there's life, there's hope. We would keep trying. The Almighty would bless us again with another baby. We would get through this. Just don't blame yourself" I cried also. "Come lay with me "

I adjusted myself on the bed, khalifa layed beside me and wrapped his hands around me. He kissed me on my forehead. No word was said. I stared ahead.

We grieved for our child silently