Shawn's POV:
Staring blankly at the hospital bed like I've been doing for the past hours, I sit here. Still not comprehending what might be happening.
It seems so surreal. Four months ago I didn't think that there can be something worse than her leaving me ... I even accepted our divorce, knowing that it wouldn't have changed her mind if I didn't sign the papers.
I could have brought myself to live with the fact that she is not mine anymore but only because I knew she would find someone who makes her happy eventually. Someone who wouldn't do as much damage to her as I did.
My eyes avert to her cool, motionless hand where a golden ring used to be. Even though I knew she would take it off eventually, I didn't believe she would do it soon... but what the hell was I thinking?
She surely threw it away the moment I stepped out of the apartment. My chest aches at the thought of her pained face, marked with streaks of tears.
Shaking, I press the palm of my hand onto my mouth to prevent my sobs from escaping. This is my fault. She wouldn't have driven crying and inattentive if I didn't make this damn mistake.
.............................................................................
Humming the melody of their favorite lullaby, I carry my two little girls, one resting against each of my shoulders. Carful not to tear them out of there half asleep state, I don't even bother to turn the lights on as I enter their pink and lilac painted room.
After gently placing them in their small beds which are moved together, I sit on the right edge of it while slowly tugging them in with their beloved white fluffy blankets.
My heart skips a beat while watching them looking do cute and peaceful. Their dark eyelashes, tiny nose, full lips and tousled tufts of chestnut brown hair is a sight that takes my breath away every single time.
The amount of love I have for them is crazy. Before you don't have your own baby in your arms for the first time yourself, you are not able to imagine the way your whole world changes once they open their little eyes and look up at you.
Greeting you with an adorable smile on their faces. The feeling which spreads inside of you is indescribably beautiful.
When Skylar was born I swore to myself that I would do everything to make this work. To make our little family work.
A year later, Grace came and again there was this huge feeling of happiness inside of me. I had everything I ever dreamed of, a career, children and a supportive and loving wife but then, I ruined it.
I suddenly believed that it wasn't enough for me, even though it was more than that. I became too obsessed with wanting to make everything different about the new album and I guess, I was also scared of settling down.
I used it as an excuse that Y/n and I had a rough time for a while and well... went out one night, got way too wasted and everyone can guess what happened next.
"Daddy?" I suddenly hear, snapping me out of my thoughts. „Huh? What's wrong sweetie?" I ask quietly, the light blue eyes of my elder daughter staring up at me.
"Why are you crying?" Grace, the younger one of them, questions with a frown. „I'm not-."
I move my hand up to my face, making me realize that there are actually tears. „It's nothing, don't worry darling. I'm just really tired." I reassure, bending down to place a kiss on either of the two girls forehead. But as stubborn as Grace is, she's not satisfied with my answer.
"Are you sad because mommy was shouting at you? I'm sure she didn't mean to." Skylar tells me, her small hand finding mine which causes me to smile sadly.
