survive - 생존

Chapter 9 : How I feel about you

The doorbell wakes me up. When I open my eyes, the sun is already going down. I quickly look for my phone and discover with horror that it's soon six pm. How could I have slept so long? I'm not fully awake, but the bell continues to ring and I have to get up. My head is spinning because I got up too fast, but I almost run to the entrance door.

-What is it...

I can't finish my sentence because when I open the door, I'm facing Min Hwan and Ki Suk with worried looks. I rub my face, trying to remember all I had to do today. I finally put my hands down.

-Oh my god... Don't tell me... Were we supposed to meet this afternoon? I'm so sorry, please get in, I'm so sorry I'm gonna get ready and be there in two minutes okay?

Min Hwan stops me when I'm about to run into the flat :

-Noona! Calm down. We were not supposed to meet today. Please, relax. Were you sleeping?

I sigh with relief and wave to them to follow me in the living room.

-We were at the dance lesson and Eun Jae told us that you were exhausted, so we wanted to know if you were fine.

When I turn to Ki Suk, he shows me a plastic bag and smiles at me.

-We brought some treats!

-You're so nice, make yourselves home please. I need to wash my face, I'll be back in five minutes.

They sit on the sofa and I go to the bathroom. I still need to come to my senses. Let's summarize. I slept at around noon, and now it's 6 pm. I had nothing to do this afternoon, and my next meeting is with the dance team tomorrow at 7 am. During these two days, I didn't work on my solo project, and since yesterday, not on the vocal team project neither. I have a lot to do. Gladly, I slept a lot this afternoon, and now I'm ready to work again til at least midnight. If I had known...

I come back to the living room where Min Hwan and Ki Suk are discussing about the dance lesson.

-Thank you for coming guys, how was the lesson?

Ki Suk gives me an energy drink and answers :

-It was really nice! Ho Joo taught us a lot of moves and how to feel more relax. For me, who is still a beginner, it was very instructive. What do you think hyung?

He turns to Min Hwan who is pouting and seems to hesitate before answering :

-The lesson was great... but some people were weird. For example, Sang Hoon and Kang Dae, who are beginners too, left the lesson after only fifteen minutes. Then, there was He Ran, but I guess that it's because she's very shy and not confident. And, finally, Seung Min hyung. But I think it was because of what you told me Ki Suk.

Against my will, Seung Min's name triggers an alarm in my mind. Ki Suk looks at Min Hwan, hesitating.

-Should I tell her about it? It's personnal...

-Now that we talked about it, you don't have any choice, tell her.

They're talking as if I was not here, and the more they talk, the more stressed I become. I've never seen a look this serious from Ki Suk when he faces me. There is a mix of worries, unease and hesitation in his eyes.

-Noona... last night, when you left our dorm... I don't know if I should tell you... I think I heard Seung Min hyung crying. And today, when he came back after your dance practice, he locked himself in his room and I heard him banging on his bed. I think he was muffling screams in a pillow. What... what happened?

I didn't realize it while Ki Suk was talking, but now that he's done, I feel that my eyes are full of tears. Why is Seung Min like that? Why did he react like that? I didn't know he was so sensitive. For me, Seung Min is a serious man, hard-working and only thinks about his dream. But I guess that my impression has changed now. I rub my face to discretely wipe my tears and look at them with a fake smile :