survive - 생존

Chapter 20 : Tearing

I'm actually wondering about when everything fucked up. It was so... quick. I find it crazy how your life can take an unexpected twist at an unexpected moment in a fucking unexpected situation. I'm actually lying on my bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for it to fall on me. I think I don't really realize what happened. And what will be happening from now on.

Let me summarize.

Sun Hi has been fired.

Min Hwan is just a happy baby. And believe me, that's the only freaking good thing that happened since this morning.

And, most important point : Seung Min and I broke up.

Woah. It sounds so easy once said that way. I broke up with my boyfriend. Okay. That's a fact. It's now time to accept it. It's been three hours.

But maybe I should explain in details what happened.

Our weekend was perfectly perfect. I spent two days, dreaming with Seung Min and learning how to appreciate things I hadn't any idea before. Like staying in bed, talking for hours about nothing and everything, but also... other things. Well. It's maybe too late to think about it considering that I'm now single. After a finger snap.

This morning, we came back at the agency, where, unexpectedly, the director was already waiting for us and the rest of the group. But one change is enough. The smile was an option, as always. Politeness and good manners were away too. We had to sit, and she announced blankly that Sun Hi could leave us. Even though I wasn't really close to her, it pinched my heart. The director is always so cold when she announces that kind of thing, I honestly think that Sun Hi deserved a bit more delicacy.

When Sun Hi left the room, the director told us that we had till next wednesday to compose a song and a choreography for the group. As usual, she immediately got up to leave the room, but the thing is that instead of really leaving it, she asked Seung Min and I to follow her. And that's when the whole mess began.

While following her -at least trying because she's really fast, Seung Min and I shared worried looks and after some minutes of walk in the unexpected huge building, we arrived in the director's office. That's when I realized how important it had to be. We sat, and after rubbing her face in annoyance, the director looked at us with a tired glance :

-You two are in a relationship right?

I looked at Seung Min, not knowing what to do. He noded. And I waited. What is the problem? She told us that we could date anyone if we wanted to. But I knew something was fishy, and I felt my stomach tighten. With an desperate sigh, the woman leaned backward in her seat.

-I thought it was obvious. Especially for you two, who are the most experienced members. What's wrong with you? When I said "you can date who you want", I meant someone out of the group! I mean... do you know how many problems and scandals it would make if you broke up?

I couldn't help but looking at her. What did she mean? I was honestly so helpless that I couldn't feel anything. Seung Min was slowly getting tense next to me.

-I'll make it easy. Break up. Or you'll be fired. Both of you.

And then, what did I do? I noded. I fucking agreed on what she fucking asked us. Without any hesitation. Seung Min immediately turned to me, and I didn't need to look at him to know how he looked at me. He was angry. Panicked. He turned back to the director.

-No! We can't, you can't ask us that! I-

-We will do what you ask Madam. Come.

I pulled on Seung Min's arm for him to follow me, but he struggled and was clearly ready to fight. So I made him look at me with strength.