survive - 생존

Chapter 17 : Collaboration

I'm not dreaming.

It's the 18th of June 2018 and Kim Hanbin is explaining to me how to compose a song. I'm not kidding, this is a fucking dream. Sorry. But... I mean, just yesterday, I listened to iKON songs to go through my mental breakdown, and now, their leader is in front of me? Helping me to realize my dream?

To summarize, Ho Joo told us what we need to do for Saturday's assessment, and we drew lots to form the duos and their leader. I got paired with Mee Na, and it was already a really good thing for me, because since I'm here I always wanted to work with her. And then, THEN, Kim Hanbin, the one and only BI has been assigned to our team.

I guess that my soul had pity for me and decided to come back to my body, because I was really lost. And if it hadn't came back, I would have look like a stupid and blissful person. But hopefully, I can now act as a future professional despite my admiration.

All the duos and their leader are pretty good in my opinion. Almost every group is new, by that, I mean that the persons in it haven't worked together before. And, a thing that I find really good, is that all the members have something that their partner doesn't have, or is lacking of. So here are the pairings : Seung Min - He Ran - Woozi, Min Hwan - Iseul - Jimin, Jee Hoo - Dong Min - Seungri, Sun Hi - Chin Ho - Lisa, Eun Jae - Ki Suk - Jun, and, finally, Mee Na - me - Hanbin.

We're currently at the cafeteria, drinking some coffee and talking about what we want to do for our assessment. Hanbin asked us to explain our abilities, say what we want to improve or test, and how we imagine our performance. Mee Na talked about the fact that she wants to be better at rapping, and I could see Hanbin's eyes shine when she said that. And I could see some excitement too when I told him that I'd like to compose something.

Unfortunately, I can see something else in Hanbin's eyes. And on his face. On his whole way to act. He's exhausted. Despite his involvment in the project, he is barely keeping his eyes open, and he's holding back his yawnings.

It's stronger than me, I can't look at him like that anymore and act as if nothing's wrong.

-Hanbin oppa... what about you go and take a nap? You clearly need some sleep. Mee Na and I are old enough to talk about our project for a moment, and like that, when you'll come back, we'll have some ideas to share and you'll be able to help us. What do you think about that?

Mee Na energetically nods next to me, and Hanbin suddenly seems to let all his tiredness out.

-Thank you. Thank you so much. What about meeting at 3 pm? At the recording studio?

We nod, and he leaves us, dragging his body to the exit. Mee Na leans back on her chair and sighs.

-I can't believe that I know how it is, and still want to do it.

That's true. I almost forgot to ask her questions about that. Mee Na has already been a member of a group. I'm suddenly more interested in her life than in our assesssment. I turn to her and ask :

-Why did you leave your group? I think you already told me but I can't remember. How was it? How many years have you been a part of it?

She laughs and looks at me with the sweet look of an older sister. I really hope that we'll get along well. She seems to be a nice person, someone who is here to protect you and take care of you.

-One question after the other Ha Neul. I was a part of it for three years. And before that, I've been a trainee for five years. It was a really good experience... but I always had that feeling that we couldn't really do what we wanted to. In a musical way, I mean. And I left because of a relationship.