survive - 생존

Chapter 13 : No Time To Rest

Do you know the meaning that says to only do what our heart tells us? Right now, mine is screaming in all my body to hurry and go to my damn apartment.

My roommates decided to go shopping today, after the assessment, but I told them that I'm not into that and need to rest. To be honest, I truly wanted to go with them, but one thing, one idea was stronger than shopping. The idea of being alone with Seung Min for the first time since our "official first day", how he calls it. He told his only roommate left, Ki Suk, that he is going to his family's house. But, today, his family's house is mine.

We are all walking quietly to our dorms, happy that this first assessment is finally done. Except for Sun Hi who is a bit down now that her friend Jae Hwa has been fired. Nobody seems touched by Sang Hoon's leaving, it looks like he didn't have friends here. I shouldn't say it, but I'm happy that he won't be a part of the group. Someone like him, who doesn't do that because it's his dream, just to test himself, doesn't deserve to take the places of other passionates.

So, as I was saying, we are going to our flats, but nobody seems hurried, and it makes me so tense. I try to act tired, so that my roommates won't insist on accompanying them, but my heart is actually beating so fast in my chest that I must contain myself from running. Even if I tell myself that going in the apartment first won't make Jee Hoo, Iseul and Eun Jae leave sooner, my legs are trying to walk faster. Everyone is talking about the assessment, but I just can't focus on what they say, my mind is blurred.

After what seems to me to be hours, we're finally in our dorm, and the girls are getting ready.

-Ha Neul unnie, are you sure you don't want us to stay with you? We could...

-No no! It's okay, go have some fun, I might do nothing but sleep, it would be a waste of time for you to stay with me! Come on, let's go!

I can't contain my impatience even more. I almost chase them away and stay on the door frame, waiting for them to be in the elevator. I saw their curious looks about my weird behaviour, but can't help but smile, waving at them.

At the exact moment when the elevator doors close, Seung Min's appartment door opens and his face appears. I'm waving at him to hurry with the biggest smile I can give him, and he almost run in the flat. I jump to wrap my arms around his neck and smile against his neck skin.

We close the door, and are finally alone.

-I missed you.

-Me too. I missed you so much.

I reluctantly take my arms back, but I catch his hand and make him follow me in the living room. We both sit down, and I can't help but looking at how beautiful he is. My hand is still in his, and there's nothing but silence around us. He took off the gel from his hair, and his mid-long black streaks are falling before his eyes. I'm still shook about how crazy in love I am.

-Why are you looking at me like that?

With a laugh, I spread his hair out and let my hand on his cheek. Realizing what I'm about to say, my cheeks blush, but I say it anyway :

-Because you're beautiful. And I think that I didn't notice how handsome you are before today. So I'm wondering how it was even possible.

It's the first time that I see him flush so hard. He's even more cute, oh my god. Seung Min throws himself at me and we fall on the sofa. He hides his face in my neck and we laugh together as if we always knew each other, as if we've always been in love with each other, as if my heart has always been his.

His warm breath against my skin is slowly making my laugh fade. It's not that I'm upset. It's the exact opposite. I want to kiss him so bad. What should I do? I already kissed him, am I supposed to wait for him to do it this time?