My Wish ☻ (ricky dillon)

Help Me Understand

Recap:

"I have to tell you something." Ricky says still smiling.

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"And what would that be?" I ask still in his arms. His arms tightly wrapped around my waist.

"Well ever sine the day I laid eyes I you I felt something, I-I didn't know what at first. It was strange to me, but now I know. I like you, I like everything about you. The day you hit me in the head with your dime, I knew I liked you. I wanted to fix you, I still do. If I may ask, what was your wish?" he finishes looking into my eyes.

"It was, uh, that someone would love me, and fix me." I answer looking down. I soon feel Ricky's fingers under my chin pulling my head towards his face.

"I will, if you let me."

"I-I, we should get home." I say pulling away from him not looking in his eyes, or at his face. I can't stand to see how hurt he is.

"Y-ya we probably should." he says, his voice cracking at his first words. As we begin walking I start thinking to myself.

I don't know what to say to that, I mean yes I like Ricky, a lot at that. I'm just not sure how it would work, I don't want to drag him in the deep, dark, hole I've dug myself and keep digging myself. I like him to much to do that to him. My heart is screaming for me to yell, scream it to the world that I like Ricky back, but my mind on the other hand, is saying something totally opposite. It's telling me to keep my mouth shut, saying that if I really liked him, I wouldn't want to drag him down with me. Of course I listened to my mind. I could never hurt Ricky. Well except I just did.

I sigh and turn to Ricky who's just looking straight ahead with a blank look on his face.

"I'm sorry, if only you understood what's happening." I say sighing again.

"Then make me understand Aubree!" he yells still not showing any emotion on his face.

"I can't, that's the problem. Only I understand what's going on." I say back stay calm not yelling.

"Non of this makes since! First we kiss, then I pore my heart out to you, just to have it broken, and now your saying I won't understand! Understand what?!" He yells back stopping his steps also pulling me to a stop with a small tug on my arm.

"I would tell you if I could Ricky, I promise I would, but I can't no one understands." I say looking down not at his emotionless face, seeing emotions is better than him hiding them.

"Make me understand Aubree." he says, not yells. I just stare at the ground tell I see a pair of shoes, Ricky's shoes, come in view. I then look up and realize how close we are. So close I can feel his breathing fanning over my face. I look into his eyes and finally see emotion. Once again it's that same emotion I can't tell what it is, mixed with sadness and hurt. "Help me understand Aubree. Please." he begs

"I-I can't pull you in the deep hole I've dug myself. Instead of trying to find a way out I dug farther and farther in causing more trouble for me. Ricky t-there's no way I'm getting out of the hole. Its too deep and I refuse to pull anyone else with me. I'm sorry." I say stepping away and walking back towards the house.

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Once I get to the house I walk in and Connor runs right up to me.

"So! So! So? How was it!?!" he asks jumping up and down. I look at his and fall into his arms crying. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened?" He asked concerned. I soon feel an arm under my legs and I'm lifted up bridle style and carried into Connor's room. "Shh, Aubree tell me what's wrong. Please."

I told Connor what happened, but not how I feel. Yet.

"So what's the problem?" he asks eyebrows knit in confusion.

"I c-can't bring anyone else into the hole I've dug myself Con, it's too deep. I can't do that I like him too m-much. No one can pull me out, it's like I'm stuck in it forever. I've never felt happier than I did tonight when R-Ricky told me those sweet things, but I'm not selfish enough to pull him in with me. As much as I want to, I-I won't do that to him." I stutter back from all the crying

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Ricky's POV. (Still walking home)

I can't believe what just happened, not the part about being turned down, but the part about her thinking she was stuck in a hole. She's not, she might feel that way, but she's not. I like her to much for that to happen. It would almost be a blessing to be pulled into a hole with her. I like her so much, I sort of new I was going to get turned down. I mean she's so beautiful, yet broken. She could have any guy she wanted. So why would she have me?

That's what I thought, because I'm... well me.

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When I get home I walk into the house and take off my shoes walking up to my room to finish my video since it's around one and I need to post it soon.

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I'm almost done with my video when I head a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I yell through my closed door. The door slowly opens revealing Connor.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something." Connor says looking at me nervously.

"I'm not really in the mood right now Con." I say back sadly looking back at my computer screen.

"It's about Aubree." Once he says that my head shoots towards him.

"Wh-what about Aubree." I stutter nervously.

"She was talking to me today. I'm not sure if she told you about this, but she uh said she feels like she's in a deep hole, that she dug herself, and keeps digging. I don't know how to get her to see that we all care for her and don't care if we get pulled into this hole. I love her so much, and don't want to see her think like this. It hurts so much Ricky. We need to pull her out." he states letting a few tears fall as he's speaking.

"Already working on it."

(AN: OMG I'm so sorry for not updating... I was feeling like crap still do but I was like well I've left them long enough. So hear it is haha. It's probably not the best but I'm trying! I have plans for this book so please don't stop reading just because they don't get together yet. Trust me they will haha. Anyway sorry and thanks so, so, so much for 1.1k!!! And almost 80 votes!! Ahh! Love you guys!! ~Love Emily)