Kickstart My Heart

XXII: Last Dance

Logan

"You seriously let her back in," Tracy asked with a sour look as she helped me with my hair.

"Yes, Tracy I did," I grumbled with a heavy eye roll.

"Umm excuse me but why?"

"You weren't there... the look on her face. I've never seen her so open like that before. Lila meant every word she said, I can feel it in my heart."

Tracy's gaze met mine in the mirror, her outstretched arm holding very still with a piece of my hair wrapped around her finger tips. It was almost comical to see her frozen like that, a bottle of hairspray in her other hand. Both her arms went down when she broke eye contact.

"Tracy?"

"I'm sorry, Logan I just... I worry about you okay? You're like a sister to me. I just don't want her to hurt you again," my best friend said through her teeth.

Now it made sense; I knew her so well. I stood up and wrapped her in a hug smiling gently. Trace hugged back with a sniffle and when we backed apart she had a sad smile.

"I'll blame myself if she hurts you again. I'm the one that told you to pursue something with her in the first place..."

"No, you're not allowed to blame yourself, Tracy. I'm the one that made the choice. I'll face the consequences, but honestly - she meant what she said to me. I think she's really going to try," I said with a reassuring smile, deep down though hoping that I wasn't wrong.

"Come on then, let's finish getting you ready for this dance."

Tracy was smiling now but I knew she was still mulling things over in that head of hers. My bathroom was an absolute mess at this point, Tracy had hair products all over and makeup piled haphazardly next to the sink. When she finished with my hair I smiled gratefully.

"You know what, I'm tired of being depressed let's get some tunes going huh," I asked with a sly smile.

Starboy started bumping from my phone and I just grinned at my best friend. This had been our jam when it came out; and apparently is still was when I saw her expression. Tracy flipped the hair brush upside down and started singing into it like a microphone.

"I'm a muthafuckin' Starboy!"

I couldn't keep myself from laughing as she bleated the lyrics out and danced around somehow in the cramped bathroom. Every time I tried to sing along with her the words just collapsed into the laughter.

"Hey! Are you two lunatics almost done in their I need to use the bathroom," Mari yelled, knocking harshly on the door.

"Patience Mari," Tracy said with a laugh, opening the door for my teenage sister.

With my makeup and hair done now, all I needed to do was get the dress on. Mari's pushed her way into the bathroom not saying much of anything as we got out and headed for my bedroom. It took a minute but once the back of the dress was zipped I was ready to go and suddenly there was a lump in my throat.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I don't know how to break it to Trevor that... well you know..."

Tracy bit her lip in thought, tapping her chin with my phone that was now playing SexyBack. She turned the volume down a bit so as to be heard loud and clear before tossing the phone onto my bed. My blonde friend grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me square in the eye.

"Just be honest with him. I honestly think he'll understand. And well, if he doesn't understand then he can fuck off."

A chuckle jumped from my throat before I could stop it; Tracy swore so casually sometimes that it was just amusing. There were times she'd do it in class even and the teachers would tell her again and again to stop and yet it still happened. I was ready to go then, physically not necessarily on the mental front. The front door opened downstairs and Phoebe's little feet bounded down the stairs.