• c o m p l e t e d •
She was a beauty, a delicate doll that was precious.
But she was addicting.
I suffocated, but relished, within her mesmerizing gaze.
She became a drug that I couldn't stop taking, no matter how deadly it was to me.
To us.
My b...
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It was a random, chilly night in the winter of 2015.
A young man, only 20 years old of age, decided upon himself to take a leisurely walk around the streets of Gangnam to settle his hazy mind.
Suh Youngho, you're almost there.
I can taste it.
Johnny, SM's trainee and a known SM Rookie, can just feel the long awaited debut to come.
It was only hours before that he had performed before hundreds of fans. He and his other fellow friends have been showered with compliments, cheered for their talents. Seeing so much people root for him and the others brought such an ecstatic anticipation for their future.
This was it. The push for their company to debut them, to debut him after eight grueling years of waiting.
Being happy over earlier doesn't quite cover his emotions right now.
He and the boys were rewarded with a feast for their successful SM Rookie show. While some of them have returned to the dorms to get a night's rest, others did want to practice just a little more for good measure (and to maybe get some calories off from their dinner).
Usually, Johnny would comply and tag along to the practice rooms. He would practice until his legs get numb and there's barely any energy left in his body. That was how dedicated and determined he was for his dream. Sometimes, he wouldn't recognize how late into the night it would become to make some progress.
However, he just wanted to stroll.
It had been so long since he had time to himself. Typically, he'd be accompanied by either Jaehyun, Taeyong, Yuta, Mark, or just any other of the boys on their free time. Johnny was a kindred spirit, he's rarely seen without any of them.
Tonight, he wanted to be alone with his own thoughts, not be bothered by other things. And don't get him wrong, Johnny loves his friends, but it's good to have time to yourself every once in a while.
As he walked around street after street, his mind wandered back to the dark days where he thought he would give up on everything.
He had watched many people, other friends, debut before him. Of course, he was delighted for them, but when would it be his turn? He came from America, lived and trained in Korea by himself, and had done so for years. He was a patient boy, but there had been moments where he nearly broke.
He knew friends who couldn't take it anymore too, quit the life before it even began.
It had been so tempting.
Horrid thoughts of 'what if I'm never good enough' and 'maybe I was never supposed to make it' have evaded his mind multiple times through days of waiting. But when it came down to it, he knew he hated that he had such thoughts. It wasn't like he got kicked out, he knew he had what it takes. He just needed that glimmering chance.
