Alone [manxman]

nineteen:: when bridges are built.

[Jason, Kenan and Andria; Phone Numbers by Dominic Fike]

NINETEEN: when bridges are built.

Jade ignored me for the rest of the ride home, fiddling with the radio to fill a harsh silence and  kept her eyes on the road, never even sparing a breath in my direction.

Despite the slight guilt I felt, she had no real reason to talk to me like that and I wasn't going to dwell too much on her anger because it was misplaced. I didn't know what she was upset about most but I had a feeling there was more baggage to be unloaded and I didn't have the energy then.

I knew my sister though, she'd been holding in whatever hurt she held and it manifested into anger, something was up and it wasn't surface-level.

Still, I rested my head on the window, eyes closed until I felt the car stop, the familiar sound of the engine shutting off had me raising groggy eyelids and she was in the house before I could even take my seatbelt off.

Stalking out of the car, I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes; I'd been so exhausted and I was just ready to curl up in my bed and close the curtains... maybe for three days.

Wren's voice rang in the back of my head with a promise that I'd made. I had to tell my dad that I ruined my life, that I was failing classes and had probably ruined any chances of still being on the team. I felt guilty for it too, wasting all that time and effort on an education that I fucked up anyways.

I had to tell him at somshee point but it definitely didn't have to be today and it didn't have to be right now. Jason Douglas was sitting on the living room couch when I'd made my way into the house. When he'd seen me, his green eyes lit up, standing to his feet and it was like our argument had never happened.

He'd greeted me softly, opening his arms as he got closer and I dropped my bag in the doorway. He didn't seem to care, shaking me a bit when I didn't respond quickly and he was pulling me close. "I missed you!"

It was always like this with my dad when I didn't see him for a while, he always greeted energetically, like he was so excited to see me. I really had no choice but to reciprocate, as close to the same energy I could, my chest weighed heavy. Wrapping my arms around him. I sunk into his embrace, eyes shut and I may have hugged a little too tight.

"How was your flight?" He'd asked, letting go all too soon and he was grabbing my bag from the doorway, tugging it over beside the couch so I had no other option than to follow. He was sitting down on the couch then, turning the tv off and turning to look at me. I guess I'd been more observant than the last time I'd been there because looking around I could really tell that other people lived here.

In place of the cross in the dining room, there was a painting and I sucked in a breath at the sight of it.

It was some abstract browns with caramel intertwined in between and a mossy green and I hated every inch. I tried to keep the annoyance off my face, instead looking down at my hands as I went to sit. "Fine."

Throw pillows of assorted 'earthy' colors were sitting on the couch, some weird blanket thrown over the arm.

My dad was still smiling, I could hear it in his voice. "Just fine?" And when I simply nodded, he'd tried to make conversation. "This is what? Your second time?"

That was such a weird thing to ask but I knew he was only asking for some kind of verbal response. I met his eyes then, giving him a small flickering, closed-mouth smile, "Yeah, it is." And I felt bad for the fact that he looked so relieved that I'd actually said something to him.

I knew he didn't know what to say anymore so I found myself sighing, rubbing sweaty palms on my knees, I asked, "Where's everyone?"

If he was planning on marrying her, I could at least get to know her a little better. I had to at least meet her son, especially if he was living here. My face must have given me away, I'd tried to be optimistic and it failed, that was sure because my dad was sighing back at me.