Alone [manxman]

twenty-two:: when he leaves the light on.

[ To And Fro by Thomston ]

Higher by Rihanna was initially the chapter's song but it's so short. Just know that that's what I wrote some of this to.

TWENTY-TWO: when he leaves the light on.

(3) new messages
wren: don't sleep with him

sully: batman could definitely beat up Peter Parker

sully: no contest!

jules: Peter Parker still is Spider-Man without the suit and he has the element of surprise.

wren: you see this Ho!

jules: he has a boyfriend.

wren: you do too, daddy x

jules: xx

wren: omg! xxx

jules: sry! **X(

wren: 🖕🏼

sully: that's the hottest thing I've ever read.

Therapy was just another person consistently reassuring me that I wasn't the only person who felt like this, that I had to be patient with myself, that not feeling like the old me wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Dr. Thorpe was familiar and because of that, it was easy to open up to her again even if we only met twice that week and the healing process started earlier every time I had to go through it. She'd seen me when I was first diagnosed years prior, she'd seen me before graduation and after and every time I needed therapy at home... the first year of college.

And we wrote, we wrote so much on the first and second meeting and even if it felt a little stupid, I was starting to understand more of my own feelings. Emotional disorders are often caused by unresolved trauma... mostly from family, sometimes from peers and school. She would then ask about school as if we hadn't discussed it before but the frustration with her questions would make me dig deeper.

We'd breeched the topic of family even if I refused to stay on it too long. My flight out was that following Sunday and I figured when I got back to California, I could maybe see a therapist at least once the rest of the semester.

When a knock on my door had sounded through the living room, my body sprawled out on the couch, something in me said that it was bad karma. I'd been laying around for a week now, God or some higher power alike wasn't so keen on me being lazy. Sluggishly, I rose from the dip in the couch, stretching my body out, I'd been laying there for a while, reading.

More sunlight spilled into the living room from various windows, more than my room and to get myself out of bed, I thought maybe that would be good for me. Maybe I needed to surround myself with light and living things and I was suddenly very grateful for Andria's obsession with turning my home into a forest.

It was earthy and I surprisingly appreciated it.

Standing, I waited for a second, deliberating on opening the door. I didn't care to speak to a telemarketer nor did I have the energy to pretend I wanted to connect with Jehovah in this bright Saturday morning. And just as I was going to sit back down, the chime of the doorbell rang through the house, a heavy sigh escaping my lips.

I rolled my eyes, slouching on the way to the door, Jade should've been there to open the damn door and whoever it was that so desperately needed my attention was going to receive the most threatening look I could muster.

With a hand on the knob, I turned, slowly opening it, hoping just the lag would discourage whoever was behind it and when I'd seen him, my heart stopped.