Alone [manxman]

twelve:: when you give him a chance.

[Sullivan; Medicated by Kari Faux]

WATTY SEASON, VOTE IT UP AND COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT.

TWELVE: when you give him a chance.

To say I was nervous was a bit of an understatement. I'd never done the whole 'not-being-sure-of-where-you-stand' thing and I really wasn't looking forward to it but I knew I needed to get out of my dorm when Sullivan said to drop a pin of my location and said he'd call me when he got there... that was when uncertainty really set in.

Was I really going to do this? Try to be interested in someone other than Paul, I'd tried it before, tried moving on and it didn't end well, what was the difference now? Maybe the difference was that I was more mad than sad over the situation, I was angry with him and maybe that's what it would take to move in. It was one hang out with Sullivan, he didn't say it was a date and that was for the best.

Still, I found my palms sweating as I bit my lip, trying to waste the next few hours before Sullivan got off. I wasn't really expecting anything except a mutual getting-off but I never fucked overtly attractive men on the regular nor did I really fuck charismatic men anymore. Wren was cute in a weird kind of way and Ernest wasn't all that attractive, neither of them were up to par with Sullivan though.

Sullivan was... rugged but in an intellectual way, that was the best way I could describe him only knowing so little. He was hot, extremely hot and I was still convinced that this was some practical joke that the universe was playing on me and it wouldn't be revealed until it was way too late.

Was I in over my head? Yes, I was, I was definitely not nearly attractive enough for him... I wasn't even in the ballpark. What if this was just a joke? What if he would realize that I was just too desperate and cancelled at the last minute? Or didn't text me at all when he got off?

I tried to pay attention to Calculus, especially once Danny had reentered the room. He smelled like he'd smoked a pound of weed and honestly, I was looking for something to take the edge off.

With a bag of chips in his hand, he threw himself down on his bed, his phone in his other hand. He was playing a video and chewing loudly, eyes wide and staring intently on the screen, the bed he was on creaked. He sunk into it, my eyes darting over to catch his slumped body, he was laughing then.

"Hey."

"Sup?" He'd asked although I was sure it wasn't supposed to be answered. "Have you seen those videos where like-" he paused to shove another handful of chips into his mouth, "where like they- they build these things outta matches." He looked mindblower by the concept and I'd often see him watching science videos in his free time, that was something weird about Danny but I kinda liked it. "And they blow it up, bro, it's so fuckin' cool."

Maybe his whole family was weirdly smart in a way you wouldn't expect, Danny got good enough grades.

"I'ma send you the video." He offered and I knew he'd forget anyways so I shrugged, spinning back around in my chair, I had a pencil in my hand but honestly, I didn't think I'd get much done at this rate. I wasn't interested in my homework, all I was interested in was overthinking my date... was it even a date?

"JD." That was Danny, his voice absentminded, he was almost completely submerged in the ending of the video he was watching when I turned to look at him. He had a finger in the air as if to tell me to wait as he finished out the video and slowly after, he turned his head in my direction.

Wide smile on his face, he sat up to grab at his bag excitedly. "I got these space brownies off Ernie, man, you should try one with me." And he was already a bit fucked so I wasn't sure what exactly it would do for him but I didn't mind the idea.