𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ✰ jenzie

{sixteen}

a/n: can i just say WOW. i really don't have that many reads on this book, but i am so appreciative for the few of you guys just reading and voting for this book. it means so much to me, and i love you guys <3

The only way out is through bravery
In the darkness you will find the truth
It's been inside you this whole time
It's not about crossing the finish line

All you gotta do, all you gotta be is your best
Keep spinning with the world
Dancing to the beat in your chest
What goes around comes around
Don't forget
All you gotta do, all you gotta be is your best

- Lennon and Maisy Stella, "Your Best"

k e n z i e

Johnny laughs as he adds some more salt to the pot. "You know, when I said I would come over to help cook, I didn't think I would be doing much."

"What, can't you cook?" I ask, laughing as I sit onto the counter. "I wanted to make something fun, not just like pasta or something."

"Silly, we should have just made pasta. It would have been so much easier." He scoops some soup onto a spoon and tastes it for the 999th time. "Better. But it's still missing something."

"Why don't you try-" My phone goes off, and I toss him a bottle of garlic powder before reluctantly going over to answer the phone.

"Mackenzie. When did you record this?" Yay, it's Jimmy.

"Record what?"

"Did you write this?"

My eyebrows furrow. "Write what?" Johnny makes a face at me from the stove, and I roll my eyes at him.

"The song you sent me." Jimmy explains, his voice animated.

"Um, yes, I wrote it. I didn't want the pressure of writing with the team, so I just wrote it. Is it bad?" I purse my lips and tap on the counter with my fingertips, hoping I don't have to get mad at him again today.

"No! It's...amazing. Wow. Come into the studio tomorrow to record it, and we'll have it up by next week. Great work!"

My mouth drops for a quick second, but I quickly shut it. "You...liked it?"

"Yeah, girl. It's a winner winner, chicken dinner, Mack. I can't wait for the world to hear it. It's got so much..."

"Heart?" I volunteer, though surprised at my own patience with him.

"Yes! That's the word. So good."

I bite my lip, hiding a smile. "Well, thanks. Johnny helped me."

"Who?"

"Johnny Orlando?"

There's a short silence. "O-oh, him. Hayden's friend. Oh, by the way, someone wants to talk to him later, so let him know he'll be getting a call."

"Oh....kay?" Johnny laughs from across the kitchen at my confused look, and I stick out my tongue at him. "Okay, so I'll see you at the studio tomorrow?" 

"You got it."

"Great, see you then." I hang up, and take a deep breath.

"What happened?" Johnny asks, taking another spoonful of our concoction.

I let out a scream in reply and jump up and down. "AHH!"

He raises his eyebrows at me, laughing. "Kenz, are you okay?"

"He loved the song!!" I run over and wrap him in a giant hug. "Thank you. So. So. Much. You've done everything for me."

Johnny hugs me back, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm so happy for you. You deserve everything."

"Oh, and one more thing," I say, lifting my head and trying not to laugh. "Jimmy said someone wants to talk to you."

"Oh?"

His look is so comical, I can't hold in my laughter.

+++

"We're gonna start shooting in 2 minutes." Jimmy informs me, and I nod.

"Don't you think you want us to wait a little longer before releasing Monsters?" I laugh awkwardly. "We're shooting the music video literally 2 weeks after I wrote the freaking song."

He grins, and pats me on the back. "It's fine. You can handle it."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Can I though..."

He laughs. "Stop being Negative Nancy. Ever since you got counseling, you've been getting so much better and it's time to get the ball rolling."

I guess I have been better. A couple months ago, I would not have been able to do any of this. Especially sitting in front of a camera like this and talking to everyone, including haters. A couple months ago, I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere, and I go everywhere with Johnny now. Yesterday, I went to the store for the first time in a really long time with Johnny. I've been so happy recently, which is crazy, especially with what happened with Hayden. I don't know how, but I'm slowly getting better.

Of course, there are still days that I'm down, and I don't feel like getting out of bed. But it doesn't last for nearly as long as it used to. As Johnny says, recovery isn't impossible, huh?

"Mack? We're ready to shoot now." Jimmy taps me lightly, bringing me out of my thoughts. I nod quickly and turn to face the camera pointed at my face.

"3, 2, 1, action," announces the camera man.

I put on a smile before starting to talk. It almost...no, it is genuine.

"Hey guys, it's Mackenzie, and I just want to tell you guys that I wrote a new song, and it's coming out in 3 days! Monsters (aka Haters) is about something really personal to me, and I hope you guys will listen to it when it comes out. It's also available for preorder right now, so click the link in the description to check it out! Love you all, and have a blessed day!" Blowing a kiss to the camera, I smile as the cameraman makes a sign to signal the end of the cut.

"Great!" Jimmy gives me a quick high-five. "We're gonna add a little snipped of the song at the end. It's gonna be a cute video, and everyone will get excited about it! We'll get this up by tonight, so be ready for fans to explode over it."

"I will." I chuckle slightly. "Thanks." 

Hopefully they will. A lot is riding on this song. I just hope they love it as much as I do. But then again, as Johnny says, even if they don't like it, my worth isn't in what people think of me.

I smile to myself. I guess I am getting better at having a good mindset.

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

i dont think i've ever updated a book so often in my life oof

oh well maybe when i was writing across the fandoms idk i updated that like 5 times a day HAHA