𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ✰ jenzie

{twenty-three}

I still hear your voice in the middle of the night
I forget sometimes before I open my eyes
And the sun comes up, it's a long goodbye
And it rains till it pours, and it pours till it floods
And I am swept away by the way that it was
I can see your face and it hurts so much

I'd go a million miles for the slightest chance
Of being near you, to hold your hand

It's always too soon, it's always too fast
It always hurts so hard breaking just like glass
When your heart hits the floor
And memories crash

- Maisy Stella, "Memories Crash"

k e n z i e

"That sounded great," my producer says, as I step out of the recording booth.

I nod. "Thanks."

"I think that's all we'll do today, but back to work tomorrow, alright?"

Picking up my bag, I nod again, shake his hand and head out. Once in the car, I pull out my phone to get directions home. A notification pops up on my screen, and I tap on it.

[instagram - kenzie: johnnyorlando posted a photo]

Sometimes I wonder how he's doing. He's just busy, I tell myself, hoping each day that my phone will ring with a call from him.

liked by laurenorlando88 and 560,384 others

johnnyorlando always love seeing this one :)

@nadiaturner | love hanging out with you!! 176 likes

-view more replies-

@kristen.oreos5 | @nadiaturner omg are u guys dating????

@_sissy.1998 | thank God you moved on from Kenzie lmfao those were bad days 5 likes

@blsckheartss | i'm so excited for your EP!! 27 likes

So he has moved on, I guess. And I'm happy for him. He's got a new life, new career, and he's happy. That's what matters...even if my heart still hurts a little bit.

j o h n n y

Boys don't cry, huh? Because I just did.

I feel like a horrible person. I am. Part of me is too busy to text Kenzie back. But part of me also knows I'm just making excuses.

I don't want to text her back because if I did, I know I'd miss her too much. If I did, I'd get too homesick. If I did, I wouldn't be able to focus on my music. If I did, I'd have to explain all my feelings for her. If I did, I'd have to face a possible rejection.

But I'm just pushing myself farther away by ignoring her, my mind protests.

Look, I know. It's complicated, okay? I'll make it up to her.

Today's a big day for me. I'm releasing my first EP, and yeah...it's about Kenzie. All the songs in the EP are about her.

All my thoughts are about her.

Glancing at my phone, I check the time. Time to head to my release party.

I remember Kenzie's release party. She was so happy. I remember seeing her face when she saw how well her song was doing once it released. The joy radiating from her face was just contagious.

I run my fingers through my hair, sighing deeply and sinking down onto the edge of my bed.

A knock on my door startles me, and i quickly jump up to open it.

"Ready to come down? I called a taxi for us, and they'll take us to your release party," my agent informs me.

I nod. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"Sweet. Let's get going, then!"

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"Thank you all for coming to my release party!" I say, smiling at all the people who came. My family, some new friends I've made here in New York, like Nadia, and a bunch of artists and people on the board from my record label, were all able to make it.

"I'm so glad you all could come and I really appreciate you guys being here."

The group applauds and cheers, and I nod graciously, lowering my microphone briefly.

"My debut EP is set to drop in 30 minutes, at approximately noon. Before it does, though, I'd like to introduce all of my songs to you guys, and give some thanks out to the people who helped make this possible."

After thanking my family, producer, writers, my agent and my record label, I take a deep breath. "This EP is called Dear K, and it's written to a very special friend of mine. There are 5 songs on this EP. They're entitled: Everything, The Most, Why, Last Summer, and Piece of My Heart."

"Dear K travels my struggles with my feelings towards the subject and recipient...'K'."

Lauren giggles knowingly, and her and Nadia, new friends, nudge each other and smirk. I ignore them, flushing slightly.

"Everything first explains my feelings and The Most goes on to explain why I feel the way I do, and the extent of my..." I pause, "...love."

"Last Summer looks into the memories we shared last summer, and begins to express my regret and longing for what we had before. Why then describes my dilemma and struggle in sharing my feelings with...her. And finally, Piece of My Heart tells of my resolutions and how I've decided to continue. I decide that I can move on, and it's okay. But K will always have a piece of my heart."

She always will, I tell myself. Always.

"Uh, anyways," I say, "I'm gonna play these songs for you guys, and you'll get to hear them, before they officially drop!"

I step off the stage, taking a seat and sitting back to listen as the songs begin to play over the loudspeakers.

Burying my face in my hands, I try to focus on the songs, but I can't. I miss her too much.

I'm sorry, Kenz.

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THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE HAPPIER AND BE PUBLISHED SOON I HOPE OK IM SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE