Short Stories (Multifandom)

Drunched In Crumbs Pt. 2

I find it hard to control myself. Caffeine. Each morning I have a cup and right after I shower, I snag another one. Around lunch is different; I drink a bottle of Coke. Soda has caffeine in it, right? Or at least I can feel it. "Tyler you drink one more cup of that addictive stuff I'm gonna throw the pot away." My mother unplugs the coffee machine but I go to plug it back in shortly after. She gives me a look. "Don't come crying to your mama when you wake up with no coffee and the jitters."

"Knockity knock!" Alby comes through the screen door and it's eight in the morning, the sun still rising. "Ready to go?"

Say what? "What?" Since when were we going anywhere today. I thought we agreed on staying in and playing cards.

"The audition, Tyler. Ryan's got an audition with his band,"

"I swear if this ends up like last time," when none of Ryan's band showed up and I had to play backup vocals and guitar and Alby had to faux drum his way towards inconceivable achievement. Ryan didn't get the label.

"It won't! Because they're all out front in one of the guitarist's Buick, it's a piece of crap if you ask me," he then continues on but I drown him out.

I turn to my mother who's shaking her head but I give her a look in return to the one she gave me earlier. "Oh alright, just don't become addicted to anything illegal, I'll then have to be okay with the coffee." I kiss her on the cheek and me and Alby make our way out the front door.

The car is packed and I'm forced in the back with Alby and an asleep drummer. No sleep for me, I'm running on a cup of joe. Speaking of, "will there be coffee, Ry," Ryan is in the seat in front of me. He turns and nods then goes back to his journal of songs I nor Alby have heard yet. It's a new journal we've never seen. "Sorry about Josh by the way, he needed a nap," Ryan shares a look with his second guitarist. How many do you need?

"It's eight in the morning?" Alby's confused.

'Taking a nap' or 'needed a nap' is code for 'he stayed up all night drinking and/or snorting coke and needs to sleep it off.' Jesus, not even signed yet and he's already living like he's on tour. He's a buff guy and I've never seen him before. Alby's eyebrows go up, realization hitting him. "Oh,"

When we arrive to the three story building, I'm shoving Josh awake with the roll of my eyes and get out of the car. I need more than just one cup of coffee today.

"Shit, okay," Josh stumbles out, not even paying attention to who he's gripping onto in order to keep his balance. You don't even know me buddy, back off and why are you so short? Thank God you're a drummer, elf. "Sorry," he pats down my shirt then goes to the back of the Buick, opening the truck to grab his things.

"Don't even worry about it," a guy taller than Josh appears next to him, grabbing Josh's things. "Just go inside and see Ryan." Go inside and see Ryan to know what the hell he's gonna do with you. "Mind carrying this in?" The guy hands me an amp. "Thanks," there's a name on the amp, scribbled in white. "Who's Nick?" Just so I know who to give this to.

"That's me, just put it on the cart." The guy, Nick, grabs another amp and a duffel bag before closing the trunk. I look back down at the name on the amp. 'Nick Valensi,' sounds Italian but he doesn't look it.

I get inside and put the amp down on a cart that a few men are already pushing into an elevator. Josh is back to taking a nap on Ryan's shoulder. "Alex is talking with the manager and Julian is,"

"Right here, I'm here," Julian walks down a flight of stairs panting. "Everything's ready, we got it set up quick."

"Alright, uh, great. Let's head up,"

A band is just finished packing their things just as we all enter the studio.

"Roll call," Ryan says just as the band leaves. "Nick Valensi," here. "Josh Dun, on the couch," check. "Alex Turner," a 'yup' sounds out. "Julian Casablancas," gotcha. "And Ryan Adams, good to go." Ryan pulls me and Alby to the side, hands me a small baggy.

"Jesus Christ, really?"

"I need you to keep an eye on it until we're done. Josh is gonna be looking for that to calm himself down, look, he's tweaking out. Alright? I gave him a beer and a shot of whiskey but that's only gonna hold him off for so long," Ryan sighs and holds the bridge of his nose. "Julian is the one who started it but he's been clean for a month now. We gotta work on Josh, but gradually,"

"Abashed Attempt? You're on,"

"We good?" Ryan asks.

"Yeah," I look over at Josh who's got his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. "Yeah, we're good."

They get in just fine, and two songs in, you could see Josh start to sweat heavily and miss a few beats.

Abashed Attempt, stands for: embarrassing attempt. Ryan had only went through the 'A' section of a dictionary to find the word 'abashed.' It's a fitting name for a band that's not so bad sounding.

They perform a final song I know as '30 Minute Boyfriend' and I remember Ryan telling me that he and Julian wrote that song together.

"Not bad, huh?" Alby asks.

"They're okay," I pay attention to Josh though, it's their last song.

"You seeing Jenna today?"

"Maybe," who knows.

"What about Debby?"

"Nah, I'll introduce her to one of these guys."

"She might go for Nick,"

"Maybe," who knows.

"Play me one more track." A guy suddenly says and I could almost hear Josh's heart break.

Ryan nods, and leans in towards Nick, Alex and Julian. Josh only leans forward in his seat behind the drum kit. They start and it's 'Shakedown On 9th Street,' one of my favorites. They end and Josh runs out of the studio, Ryan tells me to go after him and I do. The coke burning a fucking hole in my pocket.

"Y'know, I promised myself I wasn't going to become a druggie like Julian. We all hated him when he was strung out on shit and here I am, everybody hates me and I can't even go thirty minutes without gouging my eyes out. You got any smokes? Wait, never mind, I've got some. You can leave y'know you don't gotta stay and babysit me, I know that's what Ryan told you. He gave you my coke and said to watch out for me. Nah, I don't need that, I'm fine. Actually, I'm not," Josh is pacing and he's lighting himself a cigarette, puffing and puffing and rambling on. "Did you know the first song we played I wrote,"

"No."

"And then the second too," no wonder they didn't sound familiar. "Slow Animals and Happy Ending, yep, those are the songs I wrote. They're shitty and stupid, I think I was going through a breakup writing those. Three years apart though, I go through so many guys and I-"

"What?"

"I just don't know when to stop, it's like I'm addicted to fucking but I haven't been properly fucked in so long, it's been a year, holy shit it's been a year, I need to get laid-"

"What'd you say?"

"About what? I need to get laid,"

"No, the other thing, you go through so many..."

"Oh! Guys, yeah, I go through so many guys and it's so pathetic...wait, what's your name? I never got your name."

I don't know whether I want to run out of the building and all the way home, punch him, or run back upstairs to declare to everyone that there's a faggot among us.

"Shit, you're not gonna tell anyone are you? Oh fuck, that's right, I'm drunk," Josh laughs and leans back against the wall and slides down to sit on the floor. "I don't know what I'm saying, man," he holds out his hand and fuck no, I'm not a pansy, I'm not holding your God damn hand. "Gimme my coke, I need to leave." Fuck no.

"No."

"Well, we got the label I'm pretty sure. We've got a meeting next Thursday," Ryan and the rest of them exit through the elevator. "Let's go Josh, up," Ryan helps Josh from the floor and Josh's gaze hasn't left me since he asked for his coke back.

No.