Deranged (Lauren/You)

Chapter 15

No matter how much I could expect it, when I found that Y/N hadn't returned over the night, I couldn't help the aching in my chest. I trudged through my morning routine with hurt spirits and slow tempos because all I could do was dread going back into the one place where I had lost my patient. Where could she be now? Was she thinking of me? Who was I kidding, she probably wasn't. Then again, I was hopeful that she was because of her feelings that she had admitted to me only weeks ago. I just couldn't comprehend why she could leave so easily without a trace if she cared so deeply for me like she had claimed earlier. I knew I couldn't really dwell on it too much because it was already said and done without me being able to do anything. I forced myself to finish getting ready so that I could trudge into work after a while. It seemed like everybody was awaiting my arrival once I actually made it inside the building. Many pairs of eyes were on me which made me that much more uncomfortable than I already was just being here.

"There you are, Lauren. I was almost sure that you were going to take the day off." Ally came strolling up to me with a smile on her face as usual and it seemed that everybody finally got the hint to look away from me. I felt my body somewhat relax that I wasn't being watched before I looked at Ally. I shrugged my shoulders as my only response to the shorter girl who nodded in understanding afterwards. I was glad that she got the hint that I wasn't really fond of talking right now. I really hated that this was my job because in all actuality, I had a responsibility to be here no matter what happened and that really sucked in my opinion. I could have very well stayed home but that's not why or how I became one of the most successful physicians and psychiatrist blend in the country. No matter how much I wanted to crawl in my bed, I had an obligation to be here even though I hated it.

I just wanted to bury myself in my blankets but I knew that wasn't acceptable if I wanted to do anything productive with my life. "Okay, I was going to have you stand in with another one of our doctors if that was okay with you. They deal with some of our easier patients and I was hoping that it would be good for you to hone yourself back into work without stressing yourself out too much. I know it's not a great situation to be in right now but it's all we have and I don't want to push you too hard. I promise it'll get better." Ally placed her hand on my upper arm but I noticed that the people once looking at me when I came in had begun to whisper in hushed voices. I looked past Ally to see that their attention was focused on the front doors of the facility. I turned to see two police officers walking towards Camila at the receptionist's desk and I was praying to god that they were here to deliver good news.

I found myself walking o meet them at the desk where they had asked Camila for someone of higher authority that was in charge while I had heard Y/N's name come out of the conversation. Ally had followed me and spoke of her presence to the two who seemed surprised by her admission that she was in charge here. I didn't blame them; Ally was so small and not someone expected to have so much responsibility but she proved every day how worthy she was of her position and proved exactly why she was the best of the best. After they had gotten their introductions out of the way, I zoned back in to what they were saying. One of the officers turned his eyes towards me and motioned to his other partner that I was standing there like I wasn't supposed to be there or something. The second guard straightened himself out to look at me. "May I ask who you are?" He asked politely while resting his hands on his hips like I noticed a lot of police officers do.

"I'm Lauren Jauregui, Y/N Y/LN's immediate psychiatrist and physician." I spoke quick and to the point because I ultimately wanted to know why they were here in the first place. I wanted so badly for it to be good news but I couldn't help the uneasy feeling in my stomach that arose when I thought about the possibilities of why they had come here today. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the large receptionist desk to see what the first words were going to be out of these two men. Was it going to make me happy? Was it good? Or was it something completely bad? What if they had found her, but it had been her body just off in the distance where she had been hurt or even killed. I began to panic because of my overthinking so I forced myself to shake my head to rid of my thoughts. I focused back on these two police officers who had mainly addressed their information towards Ally who was still standing next to me. I knew she chose to stand by me for support and I greatly appreciated her choice to do so.