Deranged (Lauren/You)

Chapter 21

Honestly, I still can't believe the overwhelming support you guys still give especially after my announcement. It really does mean a lot to me and I just wanted to say thank you again from the bottom of my heart. I finally present you with an update that is probably way long overdue.

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"So... you love me?" The words had been spoken several minutes ago but I couldn't muster up the strength to respond. Y/N and I remained in the same spot but nothing about her demeanor had changed. She still had her muscular arms crossed over her chest and she had a weird look on her face, one that I couldn't decipher. My breath had been caught in my throat and nothing was coming out. I couldn't answer Y/N's question no matter how confident I was answering Dinah's question. We stood there in silence, just staring at one another for who knows how long. The taller girl's eyes narrowed slightly before she took over. "Well, I uh... that was a stupid question. I heard you admit it, I just want you to say it to me." She spoke with more authority in her voice. I still couldn't find it in me to say anything, but I grew even more anxious as Y/N started slowly walking towards me.

I stepped backward until I felt the counter hitting my back. Y/N trapped me in between her arms as she leaned against the counter as well, but looking into her eyes, my worry seemed to instantly vanish. The more I looked, her eyes showed amusement but at the same time I know she wasn't joking. "I vaguely remember a conversation we had, that I think is pretty similar." Y/N's lips twitched up in a small smile as she looked to the side out of the window in the kitchen. I remained quiet but for some reason, I wasn't nervous anymore. Y/N's eyes dropped to look at the floor as her head was still turned to the side. "It wasn't a very proud moment, but I guess I meant it in some way." Her Y/E/C eyes snapped over to meet mine, her head turning to face me. "I could see from the moment we first met that I was more than just a patient to you. I could see the attraction in those beautiful eyes of yours." My cheeks warmed at the compliment.

I knew that Y/N was still amused because that emotion never left her eyes. The only change I saw was the addition of the one emotion I had always been trying to decipher. That emotion returned. I knew she wasn't done speaking. "The only thing that I didn't admit to you," the taller girl paused, and I watched as she looked away from me again with her bottom lip trapped in between her teeth. The sight sent tingles up my spine but I knew now wasn't the time. "Was that I feel the same way, Lauren. I know how difficult I can be at times but you're still here. You're still supporting me no matter what. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I love you, Lauren. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, and I can't be more grateful for you. I know you don't want me to be, but I am truly sorry that I wasn't... all there for our first time. But I want to make it up to you, only if you'll let me."

Determination appeared in her eyes. My heart was swelling with so many emotions that I couldn't even begin to pick apart, but the most prominent for me was love. I couldn't believe that she felt the same way I did. All I could do was erratically nod my head, a face-splitting grin on my lips as I crushed the taller girl into a hug. Y/N chuckled and wrapped her arms around my waist equally as tight. I jumped up to where I was easily caught but I couldn't help the squeal that left my lips as Y/N spun the two of us around. Soon she set me back on the ground but not without placing a sweet kiss on my lips. I tightened my grip around her shoulders, kissing back with just as much passion, just as much love. When we pulled away, Y/N had just as big a smile as I did. She placed one last peck on my lips before kissing my forehead and pulling away. "Are you hungry? I was just about to make us some breakfast." Y/N nodded her head erratically, her stomach growling right on queue.

I giggled, kissing her cheek before turning around to the fridge where I grabbed all of the basic breakfast foods. Y/N went to go sit down at the kitchen table, looking at me with that same smile on her soft lips. The Y/H/C haired girl had her elbow propped on the table with her chin held up by her hand. She was watching me intently until she spotted my laptop to her right. I turned the stove up to start heating the pans as Y/N flipped up the screen on my laptop. I watched as she struggled a little, figuring out what was what and how to work the laptop before she pulled up Safari. I became a little nervous when a tab was instantly pulled up, one that I had forgotten to close before I shut off the laptop. It was part of my little research session this morning, and it was cute to see Y/N's eyes squint as she read the textbook. "Antipsychotics never helped me." She stated out of the blue. I looked over at her, her lips pulled to the side in a grimace. It was interesting because I know which actual section she was on. Alien Hand Syndrome was essentially a chemical imbalance of the brain, and antipsychotics are used to try to stabilize that balance. They bind to the small neurotransmitters which control our dopamine levels.