Holding Hands (Jardougall)

The Diner

Tay's P.O.V.

As Jenna kissed my cheek, a memory began to paw at me in the back of my mind. She smiled at me and walked upstairs to shower, so I let out a breath and slumped against the couch.

I let the memory swallow me up.

A few weeks before the last summer Jenna would spend in America, we had decided to go for a walk through the park. Jenna seemed a little awkward, which she had been like lately, and I decided to let her rest on the rock over-looking the small lake. We sat down and I remember looking over at her, seeing her as nothing but beautiful. I just kept staring at her lips and biting my own. Finally, Jenna looked at me and slowly told me why she was so weird. She had been kissed by some boy at school, though she never said who. That sinking feeling in my stomach as she told me was almost too much. She told me about how he met her at her locker at the end of school and kissed her.

"I didn't kiss him back," she had said with a shrug.

"Why not?"

"I like someone else. Besides, I don't even really know him."

We just walked back to my house after that. The situation was never brought up between us again.

Now, I was feeling the same amount of jealously that I felt that day ten years ago. Although now, she was my girlfriend, and not just my best friend. I felt like I had to prove my worth, that I was proud to have Jenna.

Is this how guys feel or something? I don't know.

Quickly, I walked upstairs to the bathroom door, which was closed. I gently knocked on it and called Jenna's name, to which she opened the door.

"Something you need, love?" she asked with a smile.

I bit my lip. "Could I join you for your shower?"

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Not much of a shower, is it?"

I shrugged and stepped inside, closing the door with my foot as I pulled Jenna into a kiss. We quickly undressed and climbed into the shower, all over each other in seconds.

Once we finished our "shower," we got out and wrapped towels around our bodies. Without hesitation, Jenna pressed me against the sink, kissing me. We made out for a little while, my towel falling down not long after we began.

"Hey, Jen?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her neck and locking my fingers.

"Hm?" she hummed.

"I really really love you."

"I really really love you, as well." We smiled and kissed briefly before accepting that we had to change and get ready.

Once I was dressed, my hair dry, I stared at myself in the mirror, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Straight or wavy?" I asked.

Jenna wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. "Half and half," she joked.

"Mhm, that's hot."

"Yeah, I'll do it too. One of those couple things."

"Yeah! We go together or we don't go down at all."

Jenna rolled her eyes with a smile and kissed my neck. "I like your natural hair, love. Really sexy on you." Her voice had a slight seductiveness to it, and it sent shivers down my back.

"Wavy it is," I finalized, my voice shaking a bit as Jenna kissed my neck. "I have to do stuff and you're making it really hard to be productive."

She ran her lips up to my ear, nibbling on it a little as she ran her hands along my stomach. Eventually, she stopped with the small torture--of course it was only torture because I was refraining from giving in--and we left to go out for lunch.

Once we sat down, Jenna bit her lip and played with her fingers.

"Can I talk to you about something serious?" she asked.

Jenna's P.O.V.

Tay tilted her head to the side, grabbing my hand. "What do you want to talk about, babe?" she asked with a concerned look.

Honestly, I was beyond scared to bring this up. Ever since I confessed everything to Tay, I had been thinking a lot about our future, and what I wanted to be in it. This thought process included remembering the little boy I had been playing with the night I met Alex again. He asked if I was a "mommy," and when I said no, he said that I would be a "good mommy." He asked about Tay and if I thought she would be a "good mommy," to which I replied with a yes. And it was true.

Biting my lip, I set my other hand on top of Tay's, looking into her eyes.

I was extremely nervous, nearly sweating as she continued to look at me expectantly. "I..."

"If you're scared, you don't have to be. You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"

"Yes, ma'am." Tay smiled a little at me and I returned it. "Okay... Please don't get freaked out or overwhelmed or hit me or something..." I took a deep breath. "Someday...when we're married and living together...I want kids."

Tay choked on her air, releasing my hand. She pressed her hands to her temple and set her elbows on the table.

"Okay, I said don't freak out."

"Not...not freaking out," she mumbled, burying her face in her hands.

A red-haired woman approached our table, a white apron around her curvy waist. She walked over to us and asked for drinks. I just ordered two waters and she walked away.

"Love, please look at me," I begged Tay. She rubbed her face and lifted her head, looking at me.

"Jen," she started to say, letting out a breath. "I don't..." She closed her eyes, trying to think of something to say.

"Okay," I said, understanding what she was trying to say.

"Can we just...can we just talk about this another time?"

"Of course..."

She let out a breath and picked up her menu with shaky hands. I picked up my menu as well, and snuck a look at her. She just looked overwhelmed, which wasn't at all my intention.

I slowly reached my hand out to Tay's and grabbed it, sending her a sympathetic smile. She tried to force a smile, but her lips just twitched and she returned her sight to the menu.