The Royalty

Chapter 25

Songs: Lovesick Fool by The Cab, Mad by Ne-Yo

America's POV

As I closed the door, I could've sworn I'd heard him crying and it just broke my heart, more than it already was. All of those things he'd said were wrong. I did love him and I regretted everything I'd said. Why was I so stupid to believe that he'd had feelings for someone else? Maxon had taken every opportunity to prove to me that I was it for him. Why should I believe Daphne, a girl I just met, over the one person who I loved most?

I leaned my head against the door, trying to decide if I should go back in. His words rang in my ears, his pain clear and strong. I knew he'd tried to keep his face cold and bitter, but he never had been able to make his eyes tell the same story. Maxon's eyes had started to tear up. While his mouth told me to get out, his eyes had told me that he just wanted it to stop hurting.

That was the thing with him and me. When we fought, like really fought, it tore us to shreds. When you love someone so deeply, all of the anger and pain and heartache is ten times worse when things fall apart.

And things sure had fallen apart with us. When I'd gone in there, I hadn't wanted to fight. I'd wanted to talk to him peacefully and truthfully, to see if we could work it out. Then, when I saw his face, I just felt betrayed and hurt and if I was going to suffer, I wanted him to suffer with me.

Now, I just wanted Maxon to listen. I wanted him to hear that I hadn't been playing him, that this wasn't an act. I wanted him to hear that I wasn't like the other girls in the Selection, that it wasn't the crown I wanted. I didn't want him to just hear it, though. I wanted him to believe it.

Realizing that going back in would just make it a whole lot worse, I went into the guest room next to ours. It was pretty much the same, so I didn't even bother looking around. I immediately went to the bathroom. I went over to the tub, starting the warm water. I grabbed some vanilla-scented bath soaps from a cabinet and added a generous amount to the water. With a pang in my heart, I remembered that vanilla happened to be Maxon's favorite smell. It was one of the first things I'd learned about him when I'd gotten to the palace. Tears clouded my vision at the thought of him, but I pushed them away.

When there was enough water, I turned the handle to stop the water coming from the spout. I quickly stripped out of the dress Maxon had helped me pick out and stepped into the warm water. The water rose to just above my shoulders.

I tried to concentrate on the feel of the warm water, but thoughts of him kept sneaking into my head. I don't think I'd ever felt so ashamed and heartbroken. If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened. I could've just ignored what happened with Daphne and moved on with my life. At the very least, I could've kept my emotions in check and had a calm conversation with him. We would've talked everything out and would gain a deeper understanding of each other's feelings. I'd obliterated any chance of that happening the second I started indirectly accusing him of being unfaithful. It was all my fault.

I didn't even realize that I was crying again until a few minutes had passed. All I could think about now was him. I didn't think about the fight, just him. I thought about the way it felt to run my fingers through his hair, how he'd wrap me in his arms at night, how he'd kiss me and tell me he loved me. I thought about how he was prepared to give me the world if I ever asked. The way he touched me, like I was something magnificent and special, haunted my thoughts.

His face was burned into the front of my mind and he wouldn't go away. I closed my eyes, burying my face in my hands. I couldn't stand to imagine his handsome face, knowing that I'd caused him pain.

I silently sobbed into my hands until the water turned cold. Shivering, I stepped out of the tub and put on one of the complimentary robes that sat on the bathroom counter because all of my pajamas were in the room with Maxon. I drained the water and walked into the bedroom. I laid down on the bed, pulling the robe tighter around me. The room was dead silent. I listened to see if I could hear anything coming from Maxon's room. If anything was happening in there, I couldn't hear it.