voodoo doll // c.hood

03; high expectations

C A L U M

If the judgement and cruel categorizing at school wasn't enough already, I had to deal with the ultra high expectations from my parents. Don't get me wrong, I had amazing parents who have always provided for me and given me a good life. But the thing is, they think that I am just an overall top kid who is going to be their little soccer superstar, travelling the world and making a name for himself.

I'm not saying that wouldn't be an awesome life to live, but only if you actually enjoyed soccer. Soccer used to be my escape, something that I constantly looked forward to. But now it was something I dreaded. It had become like another mandatory subject at school, and I hated it.

The downside was that I was really good at it. Good enough to be the captain for the last three years, good enough to have led my boys to three premierships and winning them all. If I was shit at it, it would have been a hell of a lot easier to explain to my family and friends that I wanted to stop playing it.

I'm currently sitting in my parent's care, and they are taking me to our first game of the season, which is at our school. My parent's insisted on driving me and coming to watch, so they could watch their 'little boy be a big superstar'. It sickens me.

"There is not a doubt in my brain that you will win tonight Cal! You should just have a big illuminated sign on the top of your head that says stop what you're doing and pass the bloody ball to me!" My Dad chuckled, peering into the rear view mirror at me, grinning like a fool.

"That's probably a bit too long to fit on a sign Dad." I grumbled back, running my fingers through my hair and rolling my eyes. Here we go again!

"All jokes aside, you are going to smash it Son. I mean, when have you ever had a bad game?"

"Maybe if you stop building me up for succession I'll actually have a good time on the field." I spoke, shaking my head at how much they were expecting from me.

"Don't speak to your Father like that Calum! You know better than that, and that is not how we brought you up. Your Father and I are just being supportive, why do you have to find a fault in everything we say?!" Mum cried, shooting a death glare at me that meant  'Shut the fuck up before I don't let you go to this party'.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just nervous..." I softly spoke, avoiding telling them the truth about soccer and the way they made me felt.

"No need to be nervous! Nervousness is for the weak!" Dad yelled, causing Mum to erupt into laughter.

For parents who I usually saw as incredible with their wisdom and support, they were starting to look just like the other try hards at school, conforming and wanting to fit in. 

 -

 "Man this party is going to fucking go off! Nothing better than playing a game that you love, then going and getting pissed and hooking up with some little hotties!" Luke giggled, slapping me on my shoulder. We were sitting on the bench on the oval, hydrating ourselves and preparing for the game.

"Is that all life is to you? Soccer, girls and alcohol" I questioned him, taking a sip out of my bottle. 

"At the moment mate, pretty much." Luke replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know man. Just feeling lately like there is something more we should be worrying about, something else we should be doing. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm wasting... my life?" I groaned, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious for what I had just said.

"Calum, we're in High School. This is the time to let loose, experiment, and have fun!" Luke laughed, patting me on the back.

"Exactly! Experiment! I've been the same person for all my life, doing the same things, having the same friends-"