And I Love Her (Paul McCartney/Beatles fanfiction)

Let 'Em Say

"But if you're giving it then don't you change
Cause living was the best revenge" ~ Let 'Em Say - Lizzo and Caroline Smith  

09 May 1969, 7.39pm

***

"Christmas land.

That's what I called it. Before I found other, much more harmful ways, to escape.

Ever since I was little, I loved Christmas. It made me feel happy and warm.
My parents were kind during Christmas. Except when they weren't.

I was 4 years old the first time my father hurt me. I spilt paint on a rug his grandmother handed down to him, I didn't even know what I'd done but I knew I was afraid of him as he shouted at me. And that's the first time I felt what became the familiar strike of his hand. He hit me over and over, and shook me. I remember crying, I remember my mother simply trying to clean the paint as I was sent to my room.

And that's when I created Christmas land. It was a place only I knew how to get to, it was an island hidden in the clouds. It wasn't easy to go there, it was dangerous, but I knew the path by heart and the only way anyone else could come to Christmas land was if I told them how, if I wanted to show them.

In Christmas land, I could play and not worry about anything. I could dance and not worry it was a sin. The reindeer were my best friends, the elves always made sure I had enough toys and paints, and then there was Santa. Santa always welcomed me back. Mrs Clause always healed my bruises and Santa, let me be a child. If I spilt paint on the rug, he would laugh and magically clean it. There was always snow and nobody could feed the reindeer better than me.

It was my escape, it was my home."

"Fuck me..." Jenny said wiping a tear from her eye "I had no idea..."

"Is it too much?" Charli asked "I mean, It's the only way I could think of starting this bloody thing before I dive into all the horrible shit"

Jenny shook her head.

"No, it's perfect," She said "It's just so...sad. You were four years old! I just don't get it...but Christmas land sounds perfect!"

"Well, I'm taking it to Mrs McTavish Monday morning..." Charli said, "She wants it published by August."

"I can't think of anything else to tell you than I already have," Jenny said as she skimmed the first few pages again "much as you're afraid...this is a good idea Charli."

Charli smiled. "I think, we should have a wine to get ourselves in better spirits"

"I love the way your mind works!" Jenny laughed as they moved into the kitchen "So tell me, did me or Paul ever come to Christmas land with you?"

"Maaaaybe" Charli teased "I still dreamed about it when you lot came into me life"

The phone rang.

"I should get that," Charli sighed putting down the wine bottle.

"Hello my lovely wife" Paul sang into the phone.

"Hi!" Charli said happily "We were just setting out some wine, should I add a 3rd glass?"

"I'm sorry kitten," Paul said "I'm just callin' to say, I'll be at the studio a bit longer...goin' to help that Steve Miller chap with his new record"

"Ah, okay" Charli answered "Guess it'll be a date night for me and Jen"

"Sexy," Paul laughed.

"How did the meeting with Klein go?" Charli asked knowing he had been stressed. Studio life had improved since they were recording in Abbey Road studios and had George Martin and Geoff at the helm again. However, Paul had been feeling pressure to sign a contract making Allen Klein their manager. Charli, had supported him as best as she could.