Brooklyn Nine-Nine

00 | Pilot

"Oh fuckity fuck!"

"Jungkook, can you stop fucking swearing!" Jin yelled, dropping his stack of police reports onto his desk with a thud. "I can't go one minute today without hearing your whiny ass bitch about the new Captain!"

Yoongi let out an irritated groan. He lifted his head from where it was nestled in his crossed arms on the table. "Can you all just shut the fuck up? I can't get any beauty sleep with your ugly voices ringing in my head."

"You guys don't understand!" Jungkook exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table. "We're getting a new Captain!"

"So?" Taehyung asked, kicking his legs up onto his table which was directly across from Jungkook's. "I don't think I've ever actually seen our old one. His fatass was always buried in a box of donuts."

"The disrespect," Jungkook spat out with a scowl. "That was the best part, Taehyung!"

"He was the Captain of this precinct, Jungkook, not a mukbang youtuber."

"Hey, everyone, listen up!" Hoseok spoke up, rising from his seat and instantly grabbing everyone's attention (except Yoongi, who was sound asleep). "Captain Namjoon will be here soon. He'll want to intro—"

Yoongi cut him off with a loud snore, letting the rest of the room collapse into silence.

Hoseok pressed his lips tightly together and sent a burning glare in Yoongi's direction. "He'll want to introduce himself," he finished stiffly. "Dismissed."

"Sarge, you good?" Jimin asked, making his way over with two coffees. "You seem stressed."

"Of course I'm stressed!" Hoseok exclaimed, taking the coffee from him and taking a large gulp. "We have a new Captain and I just know he's gonna quit when he sees this mess."

"Relax, Sarge," Jin replied, his voice all light and airy. "Once he sees my gorgeous face, he'll forget all about those savages."

Hoseok gripped the coffee cup tighter, the trembling cap threatening to pop off. "We're doomed."

"S-Sarge?" Jimin piped up. "That coffee was for Yoongi."

"Yoongi?" Hoseok asked with a scoff. "Sleeping Beauty can get his own coffee if he's spending all his time—" he cut himself off when he noticed that Yoongi was staring at him with a sharp gaze, his head still resting on his forearms. "I'm really sorry, here you go," Hoseok muttered, placing his coffee on his desk obediently and rushing back to his desk.

Jungkook let out a rueful sigh and spun his chair around so that he faced Jimin. "I miss Captain Sangwoo already. I wish he never left."

"He was terrible," Jimin retorted bluntly. "You just liked him because he'd let you do whatever you wanted."

━━━━━━━━

Taehyung held his hand in the air. "On your marks, get set... go!" he yelled, bringing his hand down and blowing a whistle loudly.

Jungkook tilted the milk carton into Yoongi's mouth and the rest of the officers cheered him on as he chugged the milk down. It trickled down Yoongi's chin and his Adam's apple bobbed as he guzzled it all.

Captain Sangwoo swung open the door of his office with a half-eaten donut in his hand. "What the hell is going on?" he roared.

The room fell into silence and Jungkook flashed a sheepish grin. "Non-alcoholic chugging?"

"Oh," Sangwoo mumbled. "Carry on," he said, closing the door.

The cheering commenced as Yoongi continued chugging the milk.