Brooklyn Nine-Nine

28 | Parents & Lies

"We're over."

"Fine!"

Jimin fumed at Jungkook's declaration and rushed off to the break room while Jungkook stormed off to the bathroom. The rest of the precinct stayed silent throughout the whole ordeal, not wanting to get involved.

"What happened to them?" Taehyung asked, his frown deepening. "They've liked each other for so long, I can't imagine them breaking up over who has the better ass."

"Honestly, I fucking hate Jimin, but his ass is nicer," Hoseok said. "Jungkook's just butthurt."

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Give it like an hour, they'll get back together and be all lovey-dovey again."

"Lovey-dovey?" Taehyung frowned. "Jungkook tried to sell Jimin on Ebay yesterday."

"Someone actually bought him," Hoseok recalled, "and then Jimin mugged Jungkook. Poor guy showed up at my apartment at midnight completely naked."

"Did you help him out?" Taehyung asked.

"Um... no."

Yoongi leaned back in his chair and put his sleep mask over his eyes. "Jungkook should learn from me and date men taller than him. That way they can see his ass from his best angle."

"Yoongi, you date tall people because everyone is taller than you," Jin chimed in.

Jungkook ran out of the bathroom and made a run for the break room. "Jimin! My ass is flat!" he cried. "God did me dirty!"

━━━━━━━━

"So you guys are together again?" Jin asked, raising a brow when he saw Jungkook and Jimin walk in together the next day. "That's great. I hope you dramatic bitches resign and move far, far away from Brooklyn."

"Harsh." Jungkook frowned. "Jimin and I may get into little fights every now and then, but I would never actually end things so easily."

Jimin made a humming sound as he remembered something, and turned to Jungkook. "Oh, I called my parents to meet you. You should call yours too and we can all have dinner tonight!"

The smile stayed on Jungkook's face but it dissolved into a pained look as Jimin walked away. The room was silent as they watched Jimin happily set his bag down and get to work while Jungkook was still as a statue.

"I need to end things," Jungkook muttered. "Right now."

"What's wrong with calling your parents over?" Jin asked. "Shouldn't they meet your boyfriend eventually?"

"They don't know I'm dating Jimin."

"Oh."

"They also don't know I'm gay."

"Oh."

"They're also homophobic."

"Tragic," Jin said and narrowed his eyes when Jungkook gave him a somber look. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not following your damn Spotify."

Hoseok changed the topic. "Jungkook, isn't your father out of the picture?"

"I mean, he's still with my mom but I did sharpie him out of every family picture I have," Jungkook said. "There's no way in hell I'm calling him."

"Your mother?" Jin suggested.

"My mom loves me," Jungkook replied. "Straight me."

Jin leaned forward, intrigued by all the drama. "You just need someone to pretend to be your parents." He looked overly invested. "I will record everything."