Brooklyn Nine-Nine

15 | Coffee Runs & BT21

"Captain, I respect your decisions," Jin began, "but are you really going to let these incompetent dickbags go for something this important?"

"Language!" Hoseok exclaimed.

"Officer Kim, please do not call your coworkers 'dickbags,'" Namjoon said calmly.

"Fine," Jin said. "I'll text it to them." He narrowed his eyes at the three officers and headed back to his desk to retrieve his phone.

Namjoon sighed deeply and decided to ignore him for the time being. "Officers, I trust that you get the job done."

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi stared at Namjoon.

"Obviously," Jungkook spoke up. "The fuck? I'm Jeon Jungkook."

Namjoon groaned. "Sargeant Jung, please go with them."

Jimin smiled. "Finally, the air is about to be less toxic."

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"So where are we going?" Taehyung asked, taking a left turn at an intersection.

"You're the one driving," Hoseok said. "Shouldn't you know?"

Taehyung laughed heartily. "No."

"Who the fuck let this disappointment drive?" Yoongi snapped.

Taehyung pressed his lips together tightly. His voice broke. "You know, the only thing you're hurting right now are my feelings."

Yoongi groaned and leaned back in his seat. "We're going to end up in San Francisco at this rate."

"Yoongi, we're in Brooklyn," Jungkook said.

"Exactly."

"Well can any of you guys drive?" Hoseok asked, turning back to look at them from the passenger seat. "Yoongi? You're the oldest."

Yoongi looked at him. "Yeah, I can drive," he lied smoothly.

Taehyung pulled over and raised a brow at Yoongi. "Then you drive."

Yoongi froze. "Uh... okay."

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"YOONGI, YOU'RE TWENTY OVER THE SPEED LIMIT!" Hoseok screamed, holding onto the roof handle for dear life.

"Can you slow the fuck down?!" Taehyung asked, trying to sit upright while Yoongi made a sharp turn.

"Oh," Yoongi said. "Well, it doesn't matter as long as the police don't catch us."

"We are the police!" Jungkook yelled over the high-pitched screaming from Hoseok.

"STOP TRAVELING BACK IN TIME!" Hoseok clamored.

"Sarge, we should play a game," Taehyung said. "Whenever I was nervous before a soccer game as a kid, my parents would tell me fun facts in the car. We should all go around and tell each other fun facts about ourselves."

"Sounds gay," Jungkook said.

"I'll go first," Taehyung said. "I like eating onions. Jungkook, it's your turn."

"That's fucking disgusting," Jungkook said but seemed to soften up to the game. "Uh... I can masturbate without my hands."

Hoseok paused and turned around. "Wait, what the fuck?"

"Oh, was that the turn?" Yoongi asked when they passed the exit on the freeway.

Instead of driving straight ahead and taking the next exit, Yoongi swerved to the right and drove in the opposite direction the lane was going in to take the exit he had missed. All the while, Hoseok was screaming at the top of his lungs and Jungkook and Taehyung were frozen in the back. Thankfully, there wasn't much traffic, but Yoongi sure did give the other guy in the lane a heart attack.