Pacifier

// Isabelle \\

"Cmere tink," Johnny caught my hand as I skipped past him on my way past their table to the bar, "come sit with us," he said tugging my arm gently, pulling me down into his lap, arms wrapping round me as he hugged me to him, allowing me to nestle into his embrace, a proud little grin as I settled at the table.

It was early evening at the Balcony and we were drifting into Friday night with a little less momentum than we usually did. No one really felt like drinking, no one really felt like lingering in around The Balcony after the scenes we'd seen on Wednesday night.

"Whatve I told yous about working that bar?" Asked Johnny as I looked around the table at the lads gathered. They were all people I recognised, Blakes and Larry, Dylan, and Van. They had their own table at the back, a booth tucked away, the sofa curving in a cresent with the wall around a circular table. It was my favourite place to sit during the day when we were closed for business and I wanted somewhere quiet, out of sight, to hide and read my book. "Ey?" He asked again nudging me so that I rolled my eyes back into my skull and shrugged him off.

"Well you won't let me work anywhere else," I said with a sultry sort of look in my eyes, biting back a smile when I saw Van and Blakes light up with a grin. When I heard one of them chuckle.

"The cheek," grinned Benji, "you wanna watch her lid, she's trouble," he laughed, Bondy only rolling his eyes, grinning along.

"Ey you behave yourself," he chuckled bouncing his knee to shake me a little, make me laugh. "How was school?" he asked then, reaching across the table for his pint.

"Life changing..." I shrugged, flashing him a sarcastic smile as I stretched across the table a little quicker than him, stealing a sip of his pint before looking up at him, blinking innocent as if to say, "oh, did you want this?"

"God I dont know ey, couple of days sittin with the girls and you think you own the place," he was only teasing but I sensed the warning tone in his voice when he said, "what happened to the angelic little Isabellewe used to know ey?"

"She's a Bond int she," shot back Blakes, "takes after you," he chuckled.

"That right ey?" My brother raised his brow looking down at me. I simply shrugged, offering him an angelic little smile as if that were the only answer he needed.

In truth I was acting out because I was fed up, fed up of being treated like some delicate little flower. The last precious thing they had.
I was fed up of the way they shut their mouths instead of swearing, the way their voices lowered, muted whispers as they made their plans whenever I stepped a little too close.

I was fed up of being treated like a child. Not being allowed to smoke, not being allowed to drink, the only teenager in the balcony who had to do her homework and who wasn't allowed out after the watershed.

And I was fed up, above all else, that no one would tell me why.

"C'mon settle down now Tink," sighed Johnny resting his chin in my hair placing his pint back down on the table, hugging me too his chest a little tighter as if to emphasise my youth, as if to prove to me that I was still his baby sister and that a few cheeky remarks here and there weren't enough to make him let go.

"Actually," I said then, tongue curling around the word, "something did happen today," I bit my lip smiling only because I was nervous. A discomfort creeping up on me as I relived the scene in my mind. Picking the most favourable version to relay to Johnny and the lads.

"What?" Asked my brother, but I was watching Van, the frown already knitted into his brow as he leant back in his seat opposite me, studying me it seemed. Trying to anticipate my next line.
In fact they all seemed a little tense, they all seemed to be looking me up and down for evidence, any signs that might insinuate something darker.