Pacifier

// Van \\

"Fuck," i mumbled standing on the fire escape outside Isabelles bedroom window, stretching myself out slowly as I rolled my neck and felt all the tension in my body release.

I pushed my hair from my face glancing back at her over my shoulder. Watched her for a moment as she struggled to calm herself.

I couldn't help but smirk at the rise and fall of her chest. I couldn't help but enjoy the clarity of the power I had over her, obvious in the hue on her cheeks and the ragged nature of her breathing. She was quivering. She hadn't really wanted me to leave.

But I had to. Even if we hadn't been disturbed by her brother.
I was always going to have to walk away, let her down.

Because she was still so young. She was still naive, hopeful. Everything that was good and sweet in this world.
I was just another very bad man.
One day i would lose control, because we all lose control eventually. If i lost control over my feelings for her, if I let that desire take over me, thered be nothing either of us could do to protect her from the mess I was guaranteed to make.

The rusting metal beneath my feet shook a little in the wind, it was raining now and I was reminded of a night not so long ago when little Izzy would have been slipping and clinging to this same fire escape for her life.

My phone rang in my pocket, the wind blew and rattled the ladder beneath my feet as i trod rung to rung to the ground.

I answered already knowing who it was.

"You got my message then?" i said taking another step down, my hands cold and wet from the rusting railing.

"Aye yeah a did," they answered.

I nodded, chewed my cheek.

"Good," i said, "will you do it then?" i asked knowing that he would argue and then acquiesce because that was the way he always was.

"Well..." he started and I could hear the hesitance, the curiosity in his voice. He needed to know more. But i needed him naive for now.

"Fender listen to me," i said my voice low as I walked a little slower than I should have passed the Balcony windows where I could see Isabelle tucked under her brothers arm, still blushing, still shaken uo by me. I smirked. Stood and watched her for a moment, silent. Almost forgetting Sam at the end of the line.

"I'm listening Van..." he smirked, I would have smirked too if it wasn't for the gravity of what I was about to ask him.

"Sam I need you to do this for me, nobody else can..." i said knowing it sounded dramatic, knowing that that was why he chuckled and whistled down the line.

"No pressure then..." he smirked.

"Sam..." i gritted my teeth, of all the lads Bondy had ever introduced me to, Sam had been the most difficult to be serious with. Even now when I'd aksed something crazy of him, he was still grinning, still joking about it. A situation that could get someone killed.

"I just... Van what you're asking of me is totally mental!" he hissed, not an angry hiss, but a hiss through a smile, almost in awe, almost astounded.

"We need her out the way Sam, this is the only way... Theres a death toll riding on this Fender, I don't call on you often but..."

He cracked a grin.

"It is my area of expertise I suppose,"

"Will you do it or not?" i was running out of patience, still watching Isabelle through the window. She hadn't noticed me or my gaze rested on her through the rain on the glass and I was glad.