Getting Closer To My Mate

Chapter 30

(Dear readers, 

I'm very sorry for taking this long time to update a new chapter. I was very busy with my official job. I didn't get much time to write a new chapter. I hope I can update regular again, one chapter per week. Thank you for your patience and support. Vote, comment and share my book with your dear ones if you like it. 

Lots of love and hugs.- Fspinkey) 

-Nathan-

"Nathan, how could you ask so many questions? Would you please let me see inside of your head? You know, I have to get better marks. I need to protect my scholarship." Says Fima.

After attending the seminar, we are heading towards the cafeteria. Fima is walking beside me.

"You're already doing well. You just missed two seminars but you'll recover it. Keep it up." I say.

"Yep." after some time she says cheerfully, "Hey Nathan! Did you notice something? Riko and Eric were blushing whenever their eyes met in the seminar. I think something romantic is cooking up between those two."

I smile. "Yeah! I noticed it too... and what about you? Why did you run away like that? Zach was hurt. But he said something funny. He said that you were looking like a hugging pillow that was running."

She glares at me. "I look like a hugging pillow? That brat surely has a screw loose in his head. He's younger than me but still he doesn't care about showing me proper respect. Indecent brat!"

"Why are you cursing him so much? Weren't you raping his naked body with your eyes in the match? I saw you doing that."

She frowns deeply and averts her gaze abruptly. Her facial expression reminds me a bomb just before explosion. She is pouting.

"Yeah I was doing that. So What? He was looking handsome. Every girl was doing the same. If they could do that, why couldn't I? Humph!"

Oh God! She's so funny!

"If you want him that badly, why are you not going to him? He wants the same. He wants only you, you know? And you are always running away from him and making the lame excuses of your age gap and cultural differences. There's no barrier in love."

"Look Nathan! I don't love anyone."

"You're lying. I can see your love for him. You are the one who's creating this barrier." I feel annoyed. "Look, it's your personal matter and I don't have any right to say anything about your feelings. But I don't understand why you are making everything so difficult."

"Nathan, you'll never understand what I feel and I don't blame you for this because you are not in my shoes. I can't fall in love and I don't wanna fall in love. Love hurts. It hurts so badly..." Fima's voice shakes. "It's not my first time liking someone. Do you know what they did to me? They were so careful to me. They talked to me, flirted with me. They made me feel special. And when I fell in love with them, they supported me and encouraged me to fall for them. But as soon as I expressed my feelings, they turned their back on me. They acted like it was my silliness that I fell for them. I am nasty and petty minded girl to think their kindness as love. Not only had them but also my friends criticized me because of my feelings... this insult... it hurt..."

Fima pulls the chain of her bag and brings out a tissue paper. She presses it on her eyes and walks slowly. I look at her feeling guilty inside me. I think I have stepped on a hidden wound in her heart. She's still traumatized.

"I am a headstrong girl but my emotions and feelings always make me foolish and weak. And it was fun for them to play with this weakness of mine. But I was grateful to them that they didn't took the chance and play with my body. The society I've been brought up in is very strict to women. Being a woman is a great responsibility not only for the woman but also for her family. One misstep, just one misstep and the womanhood becomes the curse and burden for the woman and her family. What if they played with my body and left me? I'd have killed myself to protect my family's honor and my sibling's future."