This Girl

Chapter 44: I flopping do love you!

Kadin pulls me into him further and kisses me harder. 

I freeze, unsure what to do. That was very unexpected. Kadin doesn't stop kissing me. 

Alex said to do something reckless. Maybe I should. He'll never like me, maybe Kadin could help me get over him. Sounds like a good idea to me. 

I wrap my arms around Kadin's neck and thread my hands into his hair, which strangely feels like Alex's. He starts kissing me with more force and so I kiss him back. Is this what kissing Alex would feel like? Shut up, Natalie, that's never going to happen. Like ever. 

Kadin pulls his arms around me further so that his hands touch his opposite elbows.  The kiss feels kinda natural definitely better than my kisses with Noah. We make out for a few more minutes before someone grabs my arm and pulls me away from Kadin.

"Nat... what are you doing?" Alex asks.

"Well, sorry but you were ignoring me five minutes ago, I didn't think you'd care," I cross my arms. Kadin grins at me. 

Alex tightens his hold on me and drags me over to another table. I cross my arms over my chest again. 

"What the hell, Nat?" he whisper-yells, tugging at his hair and making him look incredibly sexy. 

"What the hell what, Alex?" I ask. 

"You can't just... You can't just... Kiss other guys!" he says, puffing hard with rage. 

"Why not?" I cock out my hip and raise an eyebrow. 

"Because they don't deserve you!" he says. I frown at him. 

"What?"

He steps closer to me and leans his forehead against mine. "You're too good for anyone else," he whispers.

"Oh, and you're good enough for me? Stop playing your stupid games, Alex, they're not working," I shove him off me and walk as fast as I can over to Kadin. 

"Hey, Baby," he says. I fake-smile at him and quickly turn down another path, calling a taxi. They're flowing freely now. 

I hop in a taxi and ask the cabi to drive me to the hotel. He drops me off out the front and I walk up the stairs, not bothering to take the lift. When I get to the apartment, I unlock it and step inside. I walk into the bedroom, placing my keys and purse on the bedside table. I lie down on the bed and whack my face with a pillow.

 I am total, completely head over heels in love with Alex Collins. Even when I was kissing Kadin, I was comparing him to Alex. I can't get him out of my head. I'll spend one last time with him before I'll move on and finally take Amanda's advice. There's no use being around him longing for something he can't give me. 

I stop whacking my face with the pillow and bury my head in it. I walk into the bathroom and take out my hair, clipping the braid around the back of my head with the same hair accessory. I lie back down on the bed and look up at the ceiling, slowly falling asleep.

***

I'm awakened by the sound of the door opening and closing. I keep my eyes closed, hopefully thinking that he'll assume I'm dead or asleep. He comes into the room and shuts the door. I try and look peaceful. He sighs and drops down on the bed. 

I feel him lie down beside me for a minute or two before he softly picks up a strand of loose hair and curls is behind my ear. I open my eyes. 

"I'm sorry," I say. He shakes his head. 

"It's not your fault. You've got nothing to be sorry for," he says. 

I sit up and settle against the wall. "But... I kissed him."