Can't I Touch Your Heart?

Chapter 39 Society Decides Our Happiness

"So, I got this camera for my seventh birthday and I, I am gonna record everything in it. This is going to be my video diary," Ember spoke as the camera pointed towards a park, with little kids playing around on the swings. He turned the camera towards himself, 

"Hej, mommy! Happy mother's day! I'm seven!" Ember looked at the camera with a smile. The little window in his mouth through his broken teeth peeped into darkness. He had small, red freckles on his cheeks and big, blue eyes.
"I learnt how to cook this summer. Daddy says it's not what boys do, it is what girls do.
But work has no gender, mommy. If you love it, you do it, don't you, mommy?
I've been a good boy, mommy,"

The tape ended into sudden darkness and suddenly Ember reappeared again, looking a bit older, "I'm eight, mommy! I like drawing! My teacher says she likes my drawing. Look, I made this for you," He picked up a paper with a fangled picture of a star, "I drew you! Daddy says you're a star now, so I'm standing under the sky right now," He looked up at the stars, "Can you see this, mommy?" He pointed the painting to the sky, "Look, you look the same. I am talented! I want to be an astronaut mommy so that I can meet you. I miss you, mommy,"

The tape ended into darkness again and Ember reappeared again, looking yet older, "I'm ten today, mommy. We are at a hospital. My stomach wasn't stopping to hurt. It always hurts but this time it was unbearable, so dad got me here," He looked skinny and pale, "They say my stomach has a problem, they need to cut me open," He looked down, "I'm sacred, mommy,"

The tape faded into darkness and Ember reappeared in front of it, with a mug in his hand, standing in a balcony, "Hello, mom! Happy mother's day. I'm eleven now! It's been a year since that surgery. And my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. But I need to take nasty pills for the rest of my life, just so that it continues... not hurting. Ridiculous, right?" He took a capsule and chugged it down his throat and drinking the water in the mug, "Ugh! Gross! But hold up, there are three more!"

The tape faded into darkness and Ember appeared again, "Hello, mom," He looked much older, maybe a pre-teen by then. His voice was deeper and his eyes had grown smaller, "Happy fourteenth birthday to me!" He opened a gift box with a birthday cone still on his head, "I'm ill currently, but I'll still have ice cream because I am a bad bitch who loves ice cream," He took a bite from the ice cream Sunday kept beside him, "So, yeah I'm sick apparently. It's called, what's it called again? Conversion disorder. It's like, you feel pain which isn't actually there, it's all in your head. Strange, right? Like, am I insane or what?" He laughed but soon stopped, "...I should stop making these diaries. It's pointless, ain't like..." 

He started sobbing, "Ain't like you're coming back. Look, I know we can't see each other right now but I still love you more than ever, mom. I really wish I was with you. Both of us shining in the sky, while everything down here is left ugly," He broke down before the camera, "I'm tired of these increasing pills. I have to grab a handful of them just to make it to the next day. Why did you make me like this, mom? Please, make this stop. I want to be like everyone else. I want to live, mom. There's this girl I really want to see again,"

Ember switched off the camera and looked down the window, sitting on his bed. Maple and Loraine stood beside him, they had all grown up. 
"You didn't take your pills again?" 
"I did," Ember continued looking out of the window.
"Then, why did you feel weak?"
"...I don't know,"

"Please don't tell me you haven't developed an immunity," Maple shuddered.
"I don't know,"
"That's it. I'm calling, Elford,"
"I've hit up Jack already,"
"You still think this is all psychological? You are in real pain, Ember. This is not psychological, something is eating you up inside!" Loraine walked towards him.

Ember looked at Loraine, hatefully.
"Why can't we let Elford examine you?" Maple asked.
"I don't wanna get examined,"
"You know the problem is physical this time, don't you?"